Look guys. This one is cheesy. Don't say I didn't warn you.

We have the definite fortune of having a lot of our friends still in town from our first time living in Moscow. It's been the kind of thing where, after everything that went down in New York, I just really craved that tight-knit thing. Keeping a circle small. Miniscule even, for the time being, so we spend most of our friend time with two sisters I met through a mutual friend a zillion years ago, and another friend those sisters introduced me to when we first moved back. I joked when we hung out the first time after we'd moved back that I really needed sisters more than I needed friends, and then somehow that's sort of stuck. When I went to see Alex perform in Deep Love in Walla Walla, Alexis texted me on my way and said "Give our sister a hug for me!" Sisters! It's been exactly that, and exactly what I needed. 

Really, who needs friends? Give me some sisters. 

So we spent our Thanksgiving with those sisters, and it was the perfect way to spend a family holiday away from family. I brought all my favorite family recipes and they brought all their favorite family recipes, the kids ran around like hooligans, the adults sat huddled around a Spotify account playing hideous 90s music and laughing hysterically at each of our terrible tastes in music. These women and their families have been something really special in my life. Thank the heavens for that.

AND ISN'T IT IRONIC THIS IS A HOLIDAY FOR THANKS WHEN I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO PERMANENTLY FUNKY THESE DAYS. I have been having a hard time finding my gratitude, yo. November squeezed it all out of me. So pardon me for a minute as I put on my gratitude goggles and focus on the damn good things. You know, name them one by one. 

Old habits. You hear me.

In no particular order, here are a few things I am grateful for RIGHT NOW:

1. Sisters. Biological and not.
2. The way Lewiston twinkles from below when you're driving down the grade just after sunset.
3. The Internet! I know, right? My sponsors, my readers, my friends, my enemies ;). I'm grateful for the continuity of a life lived online, and the beautiful opportunities it has given me. The good is so far beyond the pain it could ever dish out. 
4. My boyyyyyyys!!! I'm grateful for the way Huck points at things with his fingers like a gun. I'm grateful for the way Brandon makes me laugh so hard at all the weirdest times. I'm grateful for how hard Brandon works to support us and how beautifully he cares for us. I'm so grateful for our silly Holbrook Trio. If this is all I get, lemme tell you. I got puh-lenty.
5. THOSE DAMN CHICKENS GOSH DARN IT! Good hell, those girls. They bring me so much cheesy happiness and have even started crouching down when I walk past so I can pick them up and do baby talk at them like a moron. I TELL YOU IT IS LOVE!
6. A large Diet Dr Pepper at the McDonald's drive-thru followed by the Antique Mall on a Saturday afternoon.
7.  "Small town atmosphere with big city choices--The Palouuuuuse MALL!" That stupid jingle that is still stuck in my head after all these years. THANK YOUR, OLD NAVY!
8. Please bless Meg Ryan, amen.
9. My janky old 1901 farmhouse rental and that ancient chunk of metal that passes for a gas heater that sounds like a scene from Backdraft every time it cranks on. 

Just nine because even numbers are for LOSERS. ;)

Nat the Grateful Infert, over + out!
(Don't you think "infert" should be the noun version of "infertile?" Duh.)


  1. Now that you're a chicken mama, have you come over to the vegetarian side of life? :)

  2. I'm so sad for you. Trying for a baby when your body isn't naturally great at it is one of the worst sorts of sadness. I'm right there with you. Might it help to remember that Clomid is a first-line defense and there are SO many possibilities beyond it? I'm not talking IVF (because it's ROTTEN when people jump in and tell you to just do IVF already). But between Clomid and many amazing treatments doctors can do/prescribe. One of them just might be your (our) ticket to that precious baby. So much luck to you.

  3. This is the best thing. So beautiful! And yes for sisters of all kinds.

  4. I'm grateful that you've started posting regularly again!!

  5. Ahhh love the room and art on the wall! not cheesy at all : #5 and 6, and Backdraft (seriously nostalgic here) I want to happen to walk by when you are babytalking to your ladies :)

  6. In small world news... We live in Missoula and I'm 90% sure my husband's office neighbor is your sister friends' mama. If they are anything like her, you are truly blessed. She is such a lovely sweet calm lady. I'm really enjoying this slower paced lifestyle on you.

  7. I love you seem to be working to remain postive when your mind is telling you otherwise. You are helping me to cope with my similar situation. I am facing infertility too (that is so hard to write!). I have a 3 year old daughter who I don't want to see me being down. Infertiliy is sucky and sometimes I get really mad/sad/confused/frustrated but i want to remain postive for the so many good things in my life. Good luck to you on your journey. So awesome that you have supportive women in your life, as I do.

  8. Love your sense of humor. And that table setting? To die for,

  9. Your heater makes me think of Christmas Story and the furnace- I hope you get in a few good cuss words every time it cranks on.

  10. It really stinks when you try so hard and do everything right and it doesn't work out. Even if you're grateful for all of the good (and there's A LOT of good), it still really stinks. All of that is to say: keep on keepin' on. :)

  11. I love randomly belting out, "SMALL TOWN ATMOSPHERE WITH BIG CITY CHOICES, the PALOUSE MALL!" I remember the commercial with a bunch of teens in a 1998 Ford Mustang. One of my favorite Moscow-isms.

  12. I've been loving your last few posts. In particular, I appreciate what you've shared about trying to get pregnant. After months of trying to conceive we found out my husband has lymphoma, which has brought his sperm count to like, 12. We're trying to freeze as many sperm "deposits" as possible before cancer treatments turn his sperm into potential mutants. We're hoping to do IVF once he gets better (with this kind of cancer, he'll probably get better). So... life is not going as planned. Anyway, just thought i'd share all these sperm details here on the interwebs because reading your details makes me feel a little less hopeless and upset. xo


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