On The 95 North

We were on the road headed to Pullman to visit the Palouse's one available ultrasound machine. And also pertinent to this story is that I had a very full bladder.

We arrived at the doctor's office right on time and I tripped on the stairs (Natalie's sense of balance = completely gone).

One thing nobody told me to expect was how warm that ultrasound gel would be. It squirmed my skin, and then the fetus gave a resounding kick, as if to say, let's get this party started already.

First we caught a glimpse of the fetus with one arm resting on his head. That maneuver, the forearm on the head, that is a Holbsclassic. It is how his arm behaves whenever he does anything.

As the scan continued, moving down the railroad tracks of his spine, pausing to take still images of his stomach, his heart, and his cute little kidneys, the fetus decided to wow us with a beautiful showcase of the hiccups.

And then we saw the waving flag of masculinity! And The Holbs stood just a little taller!

Later that day we were on the road again heading home after splitting an Effie's burger the size of a dinner plate with our friends the Carmans. The Holbs drove slower than your grandpa on date night. I was staring at one of the ultrasound images.

I was pondering his cute little face, when suddenly I realized that the baby has my head. Flat on top, round through the back, with a short, wide forehead.  

I took a photo and texted it to my mother.

Mom, who does this look like to you?

Within seconds my mother had texted back,

OMG, it's a Lovin! 

(Yes, "OMG." Who is this woman who is my mother?)  

I analyzed that little head in the car for what felt like hours, its familiarity and its foreignness, memorizing every curve of his head, his face, his teeny little arms and teeny little legs, searching for the "us" in him. And then suddenly I wasn't looking at a fetus at all. Suddenly I was looking at a person. 

My person. 

And I knew him. I knew it so hard and so fast that it took my breath right out of my chest.

I knew that he was mine.

Best drive on the 95 north I've ever taken.


  1. AnonymousJune 14, 2010

    woooooo hoo!!! baby baby baby boy~!! Nat your gonna b a great mommy. super excited for you and the holbshubby

  2. I'm thrilled for you! Congrats!

  3. You are so blessed! You're growing a miracle! Its an awesome feeling isn't it? Your wee man snuggly fitting into your belly.

    Wait until you get to meet him!!!

  4. Butterflies in my stomach reading this. Beautifully written, it was almost like I was realising it for myself. Funny too. As always.

  5. way 2 go yummy mummy!!!!!! :)

    n herez to your lucky boy child......cheeeeeeerz :)<3

  6. This post brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful exhibit of a mother's love. Your baby is very blessed to have you.

  7. I love it when dreams come true!

  8. What a great story! This is absolutely wonderful. Congratulations!

  9. It's a beautiful thing to realize and I'm so happy for you. It's only one of 100's of 1000's of realizations you're going to make and every one is just as amazing.
    Congrats again!

  10. Oh wow! I can tell how much you love this baby already--can't wait to see that babe after birth! Yeah for Nat and Holbs!

  11. A boy! How wonderful. I love seeing how much you love your baby in your posts.

  12. AnonymousJune 14, 2010

    you deserve every second of all of this wonderfulness :) i am beyond happy for you and the holbsdad (and your holbsson!!!)

    love you nat!!!
    xoxo, em

  13. Congrats! So beautiful! I'm sure the Holbs will drive even SLOWER one the way home from the hospital when baby Lovin' Holbrook is born.

  14. Beautiful post to your son, you know. : )

    And also, they must've warmed the gel up for you because it's normally FRIGIDLY arctic!

  15. I love the "big" ultrasound! Congrats again on the new little Holbsdude!

    And as always, your post has made me long for a burrito.

  16. Congratulations! I like your writing style :)

  17. I'm sure you would have been so over joyed no matter what the sex. My first was a boy, and my husband did a victory dance like no other. You would have thought it was a competition or something. Congratulations!

  18. You gave me goosebumps and watery eyes, just now, Natalie Holbrook.

    I love that he had The HolbsMan's arm posture.

    Your post reminded me of Mercy's ultrasound, back in 2008.

  19. Congratulations, Natalie. Sons are amazing that's for sure. Although daughters are just so cool too. I wish I was pregnant. How exciting.

  20. Loveliest, charmingest, heartfeltingest post ever. I felt exactly the same way when I laid eyes on my daughter.

  21. awesome! just wait until he's born. you'll have his parts farmed out ("he has my ears, he has your toes") in a matter of days. . . so fun!

  22. Aww congrats again!
    It is such a crazy feeling to know you're growing a real person!
    I've always hated the word fetus it's so impersonal it's a baby, a person from the first moment!

  23. oh by the way congrats on your sponsor, I love her stuff!!

  24. I'm STILL so happy for you! I wish my 20 weeks belly was as cute as yours ;)

    And now you've got me craving an Effie's burger :\

  25. really sweet post... congrats on your baby boy! it's going to be an amazing journey!

  26. happy sigh!

    you will be a wonderful boy mommy. just wonderful.

  27. wonderful! :)

  28. AnonymousJune 15, 2010

    Oh my goodness I want to cry! That was so beautiful and to think one day your little person will be reading this post and will know just how wanted and loved he is! I am so happy for you, yes God does answer i'm tearing up....


  29. It's so exciting to see that little almost-person in there!!! I remember when we saw Camryn at 20 weeks, she spent most of the time laying on her face, EXACTLY the way I sleep! Karl laughed a lot over that. He also loves to peek in on her while she sleeps and point out how she lays on her tummy with her right leg stretched out and her left leg pulled up, just like her mommy! He finds this unamusing when I do it, as my left knee goes right into his back. But somehow it's cute when his daughter does it!

    Congratulations again and again and again. Babies are WONDERFUL! Go, little HolbsLovinWonder! (Toddlers, believe it or not, are wonderful, too! Mine turns 2 today!)

  30. Wow. That actually made me emotional !!! That is really beautiful and oh-so-exciting !!!! Congrats. I can't wait either !!! :DDDD


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