6.05.2012

R.I.P. CASIO DIGITAL NERD WATCH, R.I.P.


time of death: 10:30AM saturday, june 2nd
cause of death: patient appears to have expired due to a dried-out-wristband. 
in lieu of flowers, please send your nerdiest well wishes.

and now, a eulogy.

our dear casio f-91w nerdy plastic watch, born in pullman washington on a monday afternoon, which went off on the hour every hour with all the other nerd watches at that one engineering firm i worked at that one time in one glorious, ringing "beep-beep!" throughout the office, how we will miss you.

and how we appreciated that dear watch, looking mildy cute but mostly nerdy, telling the date and time, sometimes in military time by accident, sometimes in daylight savings time, and sometimes not.

how that watch served us well as we timed contractions, and how that day-glow light lit our midnight feedings, and oh how that little watch got spit up on, so, so, so many times.  

dear casio, you were loved. you were only twenty-three dollars, you were six and a half years old, and your little day-glow light stopped working many months ago. there were so many layers of hairspray and perfume built up on your plastic band, like the rings of a redwood, so many layers of our life together.

you will be missed dearly.


p.p.s. 
i've been reading fifty shades of gray,
(not shades of gray. i mean, yes i did read that first on accident, and yes, that was garbage too)
and, you guys,
HO-LY WHAT.

32 comments :

  1. Awww...that is so tender. I'm sorry that it broke but at least it lived a long and wonderful life! <3

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  2. Anastasia Steele is THE WORST.

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  3. AnonymousJune 05, 2012

    sad day about the watch.

    Also - just wait until you get to book 2 in the series - so good (in a horrible way)

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  4. I love when you write posts like this. Love it. RIP indeed.

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  5. this is silliest post ever. so naturally, i loved it. and loled just a bit. my deepest condolences!

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  6. your writing and humor are awesome, especially together! :)

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  7. aww, i like jasper fforde!

    and this was a delicious ode to your casio. you're not alone - my beloved bracelet watch went to its watchmaker in the sky many years ago, and i couldn't bear to throw it away so it's in my island of misfit toys jewelry dish. : )

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  8. Fifty shades of gray? Isn't that porn in a novel? Loved your post about your poor watch.

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  9. AnonymousJune 06, 2012

    Just started reading 50 Shades and I'll echo your HO-LY!

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  10. aw, i have a "still loved" section of my jewelry box. the earrings my 4th grade love (swoon!) bought for me, a necklace my grandmother gave me, etc.

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  11. You are such a talented and witty writer. I have enjoyed reading this blog for a while now...and thought it was about time I told you that I think you're rad!

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  12. Please tell me how you are getting through the schlocky Twilight writing and enjoying it. Not being a smartass, everyone seems to love it and I found the first 40 pages unbearable, I must be missing the right attitude? I want to join the enjoying-it club! And yes I waited until after the first "scene" to give up on it, I'm not naive.

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  13. i read your confused mixed up gray tweets. hi-larious. i was getting concerned when you were complaining about that lack of sexiness.

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  14. Sorry about your watch. HOLY moses on the Grey.

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  15. Hilarious. Thanks for making me smile :-)

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  16. I have not taken the leap to read 50 Shades of Gray. All I hear is good things ... and, um, racy things.

    Poor watch. :( So sad! I think you gave it a proper burial.

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  17. I think you are reading "Shades of Gray" NOT "Fifty Shades of Gray." The latter is PORN for women.

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  18. I also have a "broken but not forgotten" section of my tiny jewlry box...but I'm hoping I'll get my stuff together and get some of it fixed. On a semi related note my boyfriend's father bought his mother Fifty Shades of Gray for her birthday assuming it to be a mild mannered popular book for the ladies...oh my.

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  19. You can throw fifty shades of gray in the garbage quite easily.

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  20. okay so I started 50 shades because of your tweets and F'RILL, like WHA?! But seriously I can't take it anymore. I have two chapters left and I want to blow my brains out I'm so bored. Can I get an amen? i mean, how many times can he say she smells good? I just want to be like Ana, STFU you dirty inexperience "ho"! (this comment was brought to you by PMS and a kid who woke up too early) ;)

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  21. ho lee craaap. that book is insane! I'm on chapter 9 right now and every time I close the book I think to myself, "um..why am I reading this book???" But then I just keep reading....!

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  22. hahahah! This is hysterical. I have a "broken but still loved" section as well....:) Hope you and your new watch are very happy together!!
    Kate

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  23. Hilarious post! Loved it!

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  24. This made me laugh--I have a similar collection of broken things that I just can't part with, you never know they may be useful one day--or maybe like never.

    I don't have a watch probably should sort that out.

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  25. DUDE. my library totally tricked me into checking out "shades of grey" too! they had it on display and i thought...oh, lucky me...yes please! i took it home and cracked it open, read the first paragraph and thought..."well this sounds weird not smutty." then i googled it and realized my mistake. i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who was tricked. i imagined the librarians high-fiving as i left, congratulating themselves on bagging another sucker.

    also...sorry to hear about your watch. i have a jewelry box grave yard too. it just seems more humane than the trash. plus it's like a little trip down memory lane every time i go in to have a look around. :)

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  26. Hey Natalie - stupid question, but can you buy another band for the day-glo challenged original watch? It looks like there are pins in your picture. It wouldn't be the same watch, but at least you could keep the essence of it on your wrist instead of in your jewelry graveyard.

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  27. What's a Mormon doing reading Fifty Shades of Grey?

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    1. living life and enjoying pop culture? ;)

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  28. I have a jewelry box graveyard. Does your husband tell you to throw it away too? Ah husbands.

    www.accidentallybeautiful.com

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