1.29.2014

STUFF


these are the days! good crap!

and now, this is a post all about what all we've been up to lately. 

well first of all the entire house got sick. it was mild but it lasted forrrr-evvvv-errr. my insides are just now beginning to function properly and i won't regale you with the details except to say that the laxatives aisle and i have become real good friends and enemas are not as scary as you might think. and see? what is wrong with me!? there is some human condition where you get sick and suddenly you just really need to tell everybody on social media all about it. what is that. 

stomach bugs happen to be my anxiety trigger. if it's not pms and i have anxiety, that's why. (did you know matt lauer and joan baez are also emetophobes? good company, fist bumps, matt). so that's why all of last week and on into the weekend i was a complete nervous wreck. my brain went straight up fritzy. i am feeling much better now, thank you, primarily because my insides have started working again? p.s. this article on anxiety.

this is hands down the worst blog post i have ever written. hey let's change the subject!


if it's 3pm and it's not raining, i am walking. every day at 3pm a yellow lab comes tearing down the street from out of nowhere. i hear him coming and then there he is, full speed ahead, he catches his tennis ball, and goes ripping back the way he came, nd that's how i know it's time for me to put down the laptop and get outside and chase my own tennis ball. i get so much thinking done on these walks. this time in oregon has been good for my book, but it's been especially good for my soul. 


sometimes i desperately need a brain break from the writing and i take pictures using the self-timer on my phone. all this practice and i'm not getting any better! it's really strange. 


it's probably for the best.


we really miss brandon. i try and call him in the afternoons so i can hear his voice and rattle on and on about all the things in the world, because when he face times in the evenings huck completely bogarts the phone and i don't get a word in edgewise. he laughs this throaty, grunty laugh when brandon calls and gets all pumped up. ya gotta turn on ya manliness for ya daddy, you know. then he takes his dad all over the house to show him stuff. they play trains together, they take baths together (brandon is safely removed from potential splashes, looking down from on high), they even go potty together. "daddy, want to watch me poop?" "yeah, buddy!" they usually stay on the phone together until the battery dies, and then huck wails from somewhere in the house, "daddy! he go!" sometimes brandon face times during dinner, or when we're all out to lunch at baja fresh. we just set him on the table, propped against the tobasco sauce or what have you, it's become really normal at this point--just the four of us here in oregon plus the disembodied head of my husband. it's like he's there with us! the future is now! 

one more moss shot because whatever.

41 comments :

  1. Haha hopefully you didn't close your eyes and dance to the song while driving :) what an embarrassing reason to crash the car, imagine telling the police what happened!

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    1. haha! when i got home and played it on youtube four times, that's when this happened. but! i AM really good at steering with my knees ;).

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  2. Glad to hear you're feeling better Natalie! Stomach bugs suck. Me and my 2 year old have bad colds at the moment so our house has turned into snot city, it's so charming :o) I hope you find a way to deal with your anxiety, it is such a horrible thing. Just know that you have a whole army of people out here who adore and admire you and you obviously have a great family to support you too. Take life a day at a time and don't let the bigger picture overwhelm you, you never have to deal with it all at once x

    katie @ http://whatyoudoingkatie.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. oh feel better! thankfully i have plenty of tricks up my sleeve at this point to handle even the worst of it, and so much support. i can feel it! and i'm so appreciative of it. i'm happy to say my head is above water, aside from last week's.... blip?... i'm feeling better and healthier than ever. :)

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    2. Thank you, we're dosing up with lots of vitamin C and cuddles :o) Glad to hear you're on top of it, it can be a tough beast to tame but you seem like a clued up girl so i'm sure you'll keep knocking it back down when it rears it's ugly head. Stay well x

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  3. Ohh,I completely understand the vomiting=anxiety deal. I just cannot handle it at all. My hands are essentially in shreds because I wash them so much in hopes of avoiding those stomach bugs that are always floating around. Glad you're feeling better!

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  4. Jeeeeeez I'm with you on the phobia thing. Is it bad that I couldn't even click the link there because of the POSSIBILITY that it might be directed to MATERIAL about THAT THING.....? Yeah, it's bad.

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  5. Actually it's better (although it doesn't feel like it) when the family get sick together....otherwise...the bug gets passed between like a pink pong ball....glad to hear you are all on the mend and your bowel functions are okay! ;)

    http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. Super pretty shirt! And be careful singing in the car. Last week I was listening to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey and this creepy dude rode next to me for 5 minutes. He was as into it as I was....But thanks for the song at the end. Fist pump!

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  7. oh gosh, i kind of love this post. actually, my favorite posts are the ones where you are all over the place. and those are my favorite posts to write, too. but anyway, i'm really excited that you posted a video of wilson phillips because, c'mon, who doesn't love them? that song- the best.

    also, high five to kicking anxiety's butt. i'm currently roundhouse kicking mine in the face, and it feels so so good. keep it up!

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  8. ahhh, i loved this post though!! it's like we're having a conversation and it's so good and sometimes i laugh out loud and the next i'm just anxious for the next word because i love reading what you write. and wilson phillips!! yes! also, when i eat horribly and am stressed/anxious my stomach is the first to know. it's horrible and i totally get you. trying everyday to be at peace and control, which is not easy, especially during college. i'm so glad you have the chance to be in oregon with some family! i like things that are good for the soul. and i'm excited for your book! xoxo

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  9. Not the worst post at all! I just laughed embarrassingly loud at a coffee shop reading the disembodied head story!! Sooo funny and adorable!! Annnnd, your selfies are beautiful!

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  10. feel better lady, those ahem stomach issues are no bueno!

    http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2014/01/takeout-experiment-1-chicken-tikka.html

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  11. I have Emetophobia too!! I just got over an unknown stomach virus/blug/disease (it was unknown so I don't know what to call it). They said it might have been caused by anxiety but to be honest I think I was more anxious after the condition started. I hate stomach issues and it completely demobilises me. Horrid things they are. I am so glad to hear you are better. There is seriously nothing worse.

    Glad to hear Im not the only one with this irrational anxiety!

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  12. love your mismatched socks.

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  13. Do you take anything for your anxiety? Sometimes a good medication can go a long way, says a longtime anxiety sufferer. I hope you're taking good care of yourself :)

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  14. blogged about wilson phillips back in 2012. my two friends and i like to pretend we're them and the hair colors coordinate perfectly. we're just not quite as cool.

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  15. Ummm love Wilson Phillips! We had this music video on VHS and would make up ice skating routines to it! One of my favorite childhood memories:) thanks for bringing it back!

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  16. This.Post. Loved it! Mostly for the treat at the end and glad to hear you're feeling better. Enemas ain't got nothin on us. "I know that there is pain, butcha hold on fer one more daaya!" Gold.

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  17. ^^^side note: shared this with my husband, who is now singing Hold On in the shower.

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  18. um, love this post and this blog.

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  19. Well no WONDER you were anxious, if I had to be in a house full of puking people I would sit huddled in the corner, rocking back and forth for days. :( I always wonder how fellow emetophobes who are mothers do it. You are certainly a stronger woman than me! Keep on keepin' on!

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  20. MATT LAUER?! I knew I liked that guy. Emetophobes gotta stick together. Too bad Matt doesn't know I'm in his club.....

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  21. Stomach issues give me anxiety too. At Christmas my niece threw up as soon as she got home. After spending the last 8 hours with us! :-o I went in to a serious freak out. I had to take a Xanax and call it a night. I get it.

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  22. oh dear... this is so me too. puke is my all time biggest fear, and i honestly don't know why but i've never actually admitted it till now. i've tried to work at it, but it's the weirdest thing. who wants to feel nauseated and who wants the mess of vomit? it's just flat out disgusting, but luckily it does pass and i'm glad you guys are feeling better. from reading the comments you aren't alone! :)

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  23. just want to say you're not alone in dealing with anxiety. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone either.

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  24. I'm completely comfortable saying that I currently have Wendy Wilson's hair, and it is absolutely as amazing as one would hope.

    But curses to you for causing me to fall down the infinite spiral of Journey music videos!! Steve Perry... <3 dat bowl cut.

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  25. anxiety is the friggin worse! hope you feel better! we have totally become that family that skypes my husband every where we go. walking around target is the best when you're skyping your husband. :)

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  26. Natalie! I started my day by reading your post and then ROCKED OUT to that video. Thank you for setting a phenomenal tone for my day.

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  27. thank god for facetime! love the little escapes the mossy photos give :) keep 'em coming~

    xx happilysmitten

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  28. except for i wanted to be the lead singer. now i have the haircut to match. LOL! oh yeah
    www.thismomsgonnasnap.com

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  29. Another emetaphobe here! I was so pleased when I realised years ago what I was anxious about had a name and not only that but others had it too! Gotta love the internet for that ;)

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  30. Thought for sure I was reading a typo. I was like, "yellow lab? Doesn't she mean yellow cab? Oh nvm she's not in NYC!". Blargh.

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  31. I don't have any anxiety about getting sick normally, but the last time I got food poisoning I developed hives because I was so stressed out about how sick and sudden it all came on. I'm glad you are feeling better! :)

    And Oregon is good for the soul. I live on the WA/OR border and have been really craving getting out in the woods. What I would give to be going for a rainy overcast walk, surrounded by trees than sitting here at work in front of a computer screen.

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  32. Thanks for the link! I've just lost an hour of my life watching AMAZING 90s love songs!

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  33. I love your writing ever so slightly more than I love that white shirt you're wearing, Natalie? Do you mind letting us loyal readers know where you got it? Great post as always! Your blog is my fave! - Leith
    http://www.thesanfranciscan.co/

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  34. Without meaning to sound horrid, it's so nice to hear that some one else has Emetophobia. I have had it for as long as I can remember, and know one has said to me they have it as well. It's such a ridiculous thing to be afraid of but its completely terrifying and makes my anxiety goes through the roof!
    I hope you are all on the mend now, and best of luck with the writing!
    xx

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  35. Thank you for posting that article about anxiety! I get horrific bouts of anxiety--and when I say bouts I mean I'm mostly anxious all the time, but sometimes it's extra terrible. Anyways, I feel you about the anxiety thing. truly. Glad you're feeling better.

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  36. Yes, obsessed with Hold On! Too perfect!!!
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

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