10.27.2009

An Assortment Of Thoughts For A Tuesday


I have an intrepid blogging team. My blogging team is made up of me, Peter Pan, and The Holbs. Me because I write it (obvs), Peter Pan because he stares at me while I type, and The Holbs because once I have posted I shout It's up! and then The Holbstar reads it from the front part of the house while I wait anxiously from the back part of the house for news on whether it will do. Then The Holbs says Not bad! or Could be better! or sometimes all I get is Uhhhhh and that is when I know my post has gotten too long, because The Holbs is famous in our house for not reading things I write that get past three paragraphs.

Usually my blogging team is like unto a well-oiled machine, but only lately The Holbs has been eyeing my blog like an eagle eyes a mouse in a field. Did you get any new comments? he asks, like, all day. On the plus side, The Holbsabomber no longer has plans to explode up the Internet, but the pressure! You are called Nat The Rat but there aren't actually any rats on your blog, he says, frowning, and, Are you losing followers?

On Friday it got to be too much, and I unceremoniously kicked him off the team, just like that, don't let the door hit you and et cetera. So now I have an opening in my blog board of trustees. Would you care to apply?
Duties: Read my grossly exaggerated missives on life once I post them and then tell me if it is a.) sucky, b.) not-so-sucky, c.) not silly enough.

Requirements: Ability to coat the horrible truth in a nice dusting of vanilla sugar, lift and carry 25 lbs and stand for long periods of time, are really good at tickling my back, have red hair, and a devilishly handsome smile.
Speaking of The Holbs, the other night The Holbs went to bed with an unopened can of Rockstar by his head, the memory of which has made me giggle all day. This is all because The Holbstar takes his calling in the Young Mens program seriously, and in an effort to "get into the heads" of the youth in his jurisdiction he has decided to watch this show Avatar that all the 14-year-old boys are raving on about.

In the interest of honesty I should report that it is basically Captain Planet, and is as such pretty stupid in various ways, and so from time to time I will listen in just to come up with obnoxious things to shout out. There are approximately thirty zillion episodes to sit through and so most nights The Holbs is watching and I am heckling until well past midnight. Suddenly now we are all part-Vampire around here, what with the nighttime activities and the aversion to sunlight and an inability to make it to early morning activities (not to mention all of the sparkling and dazzling I do anyway on a daily basis).

Last night we finished the final episode around 1:30 and I didn't fall asleep until well past 3:00, only to be awakened at 4:00 by Barney barfing in the living room.

 Which is really neither here nor there.

The end.

43 comments :

  1. You fired the man huh? Mine is the same way, he basically just scans the high points. Weeks later I will say something, and he won't know what I am talking about and I will say, "you read it on my blog", and he retorts "i only scan...if it's too long you lose me."

    Nice. If I'm not interesting to him, who else will I be interesting to?

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  2. No, don't fire the Holbs! If you do, I'll start an internet petition. Then you'll be in for it, make no mistake...

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  3. Ha! I gave my hubby the link to my blog and he never went and looked so I think you should reinstate yours :p
    I can give you a great, simple bread recipe that only requires about ten mintues (if that) all up of kneading...but you are right the bread making experience is truly healing. If you are having troubles with temperatures (bread needs warm to work and not be rock)then I put mine in the car to prove and rise during winter....mind you we don't get snow over here.

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  4. love the new graphics!

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  5. Your dog is adorable. And thats pretty hilarious that you fired your husband.

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  6. I am a horrible bread-maker myself, but I am determined to get it right one of these days. The kneading is the best bit though - getting out all of those frustrations (pink shorts) without having to harm anything or anyone. Have fun making snow-bread tomorrow (today)!

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  7. No offense to the Pan, but I don't think he can handle the responsibility that comes with operating 2/3 of the operation. I strongly suggest bringing the Holbs character back in before this whole thing starts to house of cards on you. Then again, you have almost 900 followers and I have............7 so perhaps I will shut my bread hole and leave the real decision making to the blog master. 8) Thanks for yet another fun read.

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  8. he... fun story, i still wait of your story, this first i read your story and nice... I like it, so fun... I'm sorry if my word wrong...

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  9. I just found your blog and LOVE IT. Very cute!!

    I see you fired your hubby, well, have the same problem with my boyfriend, I get him to read and what does he do?...He doesnt. hehe. :]

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  10. On bread, I have the perfect, yummylicious-whole-wheat-anyone-can-bake-it, makes-a-great-pizza-crust-and-sweetroll dough. Add ingredients in order: 3 C warm water, 1 1/2 T yeast, 1/2 T salt, 1/3 C canola oil, 1/3 c honey, 1 1/2 T lemon juice, 1 T wheat gluten, 4 1/2-6 C Whole Wheat flour. If you have one of those breadmakers that look like a huge white toaster, turn on the dough setting and mix and add flour til it pulls away from the edges but still sticky. Otherwise mix in flour by hand until it pulls from the sides by is still slightly sticky on the surface. I cheat and don't let it rise much at all if any. I just pour a little canola oil on the counter, shape into loaves (or roll out for pizza)and bake at 350^ for 30 mins. For sweetrolls, sprinkle rolled out dough with brown sugar (or Splenda), drizzled butter (or subst), cinnamon, chopped pecans, roll up, and cut with dental floss from the bottom side up by looping it together.

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  11. Oh, never EVER bake in the big white toaster bread maker. Always in the oven.

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  12. Well my man only looks at the pictures. He doesn't even pretend to read the content... means I can talk about him without fear of reprisal.
    I've enjoyed reading your blog- inspired by your quirky honesty- and your even quirkier photos.

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  13. Cannwin the Rambler
    -------------------------

    Experience:
    Wrote my first short story at the age of 6 about a bunny rabbit who didn't do anything and got to fat.
    Began my first book at age ten in which a cowboy from the old west runs away with his lover and her husband comes looking for them. Had to go back and edit out that they drank beer... they drank Sasparilla's instead.
    Discovered poetry at the age of 15 and wrote a poem about a family that lived in a cave above a village. Villagers become scared, go up and kill all the people in the cave.
    Gave up writing (to depressing *wink*) until an adult at which time I realized humor. Have been blogging ever since.
    NaNoWriMo participant 3 years running.
    ----------------

    Qualifications:
    Have a red head with a devilish grin (age 2 1/2).
    More than happy to read your blog and coat with sugar.
    Not only can I carry 25 lbs but I can also carve a pumpkin and rock a baby to sleep at the same time.
    Can make some killer cinnamon biscuit rolls.
    Dislikes people in hot pink pants that have no tact.
    Will never ask why a person doesn't have children and will never mistake chub for pregnancy.
    Knows the importance of fun online pet names for spouses.

    Contact
    ---------------
    cannwin.blogspot.com

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  14. I watched Avatar with my husband and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's actually being made into a movie by M. Night Shyamalan.

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  15. Well...I *was* just gonna say "at least The Holbs reads your blog cause mine don't," then I started reading the comments.

    Dang girl!

    Glad I did read the comments b/c now I may have just discovered the secret to homemade whole wheat bread and I also know where to find a Rambler with a Resume that disilkes brass people in pink pants.

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  16. Oh, and you have rats in your sidebar now.

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  17. Well crap...it's on your banner too! Lovin' the Rats!

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  18. New reader alert!!

    Hi Nat. I'm also a Nat, but that is not the reason I started reading your blog. I found it through the handy "Blogs of Note" feature that you waxed poetic about a few weeks ago ('cause I stalk back a few weeks when I like a blog).

    So anyway, new reader! Extra points for also being a Natalie (a SHORT Natalie), and I'm excited to keep reading. You're funny and you have cute dogs.

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  19. YAY!!! I'm SOOOOOOO happy you baked bread (even if it didn't turn out exactly as you would've liked!).

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  20. Unfortunately, baking bread is mastered with practice. But once you figured it out, it becomes much less tragic and a lot more lovely. Or something. Let us know how today's bread turns out. :)

    As for the Yankees/Phillies question, I cannot say, for my only opinion is that the Yankees are evil. (I have 4 brothers who raised me that way, don't hate.)

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  21. Hey little mouse. Beg THE HOLBS to come back. Beg him. Tell him you are sorry and give him a piece of cheese. My man doesn't look at my blog as many other of your commenters. So go to him with tail between legs (maybe only dogs do that, nevermind) and say you're sorry. TEAM HOLBSTAR! GO RED!

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  22. love it
    don't quite understand,
    but love it lol
    what's with the rat?

    For more great videos, photos, and blogs visit:
    http://www.flixya.com/user/krazykoreankyle
    http://krazykoreankyle.blogspot.com/

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  23. Texassky, I like your style! It's true... all last week I told my wifey that I wasn't too sure about her posts. Maybe I don't "get it" like you guys. What can I say; I'm a left-brain kinda guy. (numbers, laws, debits, credits...) But... in defense, my mom was an English teacher and I had her for two years and got A+'s (favoritism?). So... keep on writing Nat... and if I don't like the post it is destined to be a big hit!
    -the holbs

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  24. I feel like Barnaby needs a job on the blog team, perhaps foot warmer or something like that?

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  25. C&A - I am taking your bread recipe and I am going to love it forever. I think I used the wrong flour, so I went out and bought whole wheat bread flour, which also somehow has a third of the calories? So all in all, I was a happy girl.

    Holbs - don't let this get to your head!

    Naked - you're right, I feel badly for Barney. His chief job around these parts is to look good. Is that better?

    Gina - We are Yankees people through and through, but I'l be your friend anyway :).

    Julie - M. Night Shamalamadingdong? Yikes! I thought it was James Cameron? Am I thinking of something different?? What will be the big twist at the end, then? Ang is . . . not? the avatar?

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  26. I use a bread machine! lol. Requires no upper body strength unless it breaks down ( poo poo poo, it never should!)
    From what I've read so far on your blog, I'd def. say keep the Holbs!

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  27. It's kinda confusing but there are actually 2 different movies coming out that are both called Avatar. One of them is by James Cameron and isn't related to the series you just watched. The other is by Shyamalan. Whoever is in charge of naming movies should be fired, they made it too confusing!

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  28. my blogs just getting started...please help it out!!!!!!! take 5 seconds to visit

    http://housefordummies.blogspot.com/

    seriously

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  29. Poor holbs.

    you did great =) and i think snowy bread will work out fine.

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  30. Nat,

    I just found your blog recently and have fallen in love! I look forward to coming home everyday after school and reading about your refreshing take on the world. Thank you so much.

    Reading your blog as also inspired me to really think and work on my own blog, which I recently started. I have always felt that I wanted to write, but creative writing and short stories never seem to work out just right for me. Blogging has been quite a good experience though! I would love if you would check out my blog whenever you get a moment.
    http://thinkingofthink.blogspot.com/

    I hope everything works out with the baby..keeping my fingers crossed.
    Beth

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  31. Nat, your title is catchy and what first grabbed my attention, so kudos on creative thinking. I find you funny, down to earth, and you seem the type of person that makes friends easy. I love reading your blog, and as a newbie, I think I chose wisely because I will learn from your writing. Don't worry, I won't plagiarize the work you've done here and my former professor would hang his head in shame, besides.
    I think the Holbs should stay! If he even partially reads what you write you are ahead of the game, mine sits on the couch and grunts! lol

    Making bread is an art, don't give up, just practice, practice and worse comes to worse you can feed it to the birds. Winter coming on, I'm sure they'll appreciate the extra grub! :-)

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  32. Another wonderful post, and I'm glad to see the Holbs reads AND comments on your blog. I hope you rehire him. ; )

    Also discovering more good blogs from your commenters! Love it! (Also, if I can use the word again, loving the new cute lil rat icon!)

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  33. Love the new look of your page! I clicked on you because of your Fat Rat name.... I thought it was cute and clever :) Another great post! You are fastly becoming a fav of mine :)

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  34. WELL We made the blog, I almost cried :) and your busicuts were DANG good. I missed the conversation about "friends" I'm glad it wasn't mine though ahaha, even though it was innocent.
    and if the holbs is ever out of town, too busy with finals or ANYthing just ggive me a ring! I've love to take position.
    ALSO, I had fun today- as slow and crazy crying as it was- I just love being with you.

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  35. Nat, your blog is AMAZING (I found it through the "Blogs of Note" list). It is one of the little things that makes me smile. It's so nice to come home every day and read your funny outlook on everyday life. I've even been inspired to make my own blog. And i think it's the other way around...we're all interested in seeing how much the PHILLIES whomp the Yankees ;-)

    Sarah
    http://thedailysarah.blogspot.com

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  36. Hey, Nat. My first loaves of bread were hockey pucks and door stops. I'm still not a very good bread maker, but my sister, a great bread maker, told me the secret to how she rises. Turn the oven on until it is quite warm (200, maybe?) Then turn it off. Put in the dough. Crack open the door. Voila. Warm, dry, draft free space--perfect for rising.

    As for anything else bread wise, I've got nuttin'. You don't want any advise I could give, because the results are spotty at best. :o)

    Another sweet post.

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  37. I think that you are absolutely adorable and I love your blog. It's cute and fun and also creative. Congrats on blogs of note. anyway, my blog is brand new. http://helensblogstuff.blogspot.com/

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  38. nat- i look forward to reading your post every day. i love your writing style and i love how you just draw your reader in. keep writing! God has blessed you with this talent of writing, keep making good use of it.

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  39. Ah the world the of Anime. I am marrying a nerd in about three months and my dvd collection is going to grow to include bleach, naruto and other weird things. I also shout obnoxious things at the tv while he watches it. He also said it's to get into the heads of the youth at church. Be afraid, be very afraid...

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  40. Captain Planet was the man back when I was a little girl! I was obsessed with him and I think it has carried over into adulthood. I blame Captain Planet for making me so "Reduce, reuse, recycle" gungho.

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