Pages

6.04.2010

And Two Boxes Of Cocoa Puffs


Exciting things to report today from the house of the Nat-Holbs!

Today I bought seventeen boxes of cereal at a 13-hour cereal sale.

13-hour cereal sale! It was announced on the radio last week, and I got so excited that I actually pulled the car over over to the side of the road so I could write it down. Thursday: BUY CEREAL.

And anyway, why 13 hours?

It really takes a 13-hour cereal sale to remind a girl how grateful she is to finally be pregnant, on account of a cereal sale in any other physical condition would be scandalous. Because what would I do with seventeen boxes of cereal if I were trying to stay skinny? Because cereal is my downfall.

The 13-hour cereal sale was hysterical. You enter the store with your cart, proceed to the giant pile of cereals stacked on pallets, circle slowly about the giant pile of cereals with the multitudes of other cereal shoppers, grab whatever looks good, realize you need to go around again for more of X Y or Z, and etc. It was a magnificent carousel of cereal! And then you go, "But do I really need four boxes of Mini Wheats?" (Probably.)

And then there are just seventeen boxes of cereal sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for someflappingbody to give them some attention.

Naturally, I sat on the couch instead and surveyed my puppies after a long day of accomplishing things and being pregnant in places.

Barney was giving me his wonk-eye from the floor, and Peter was investigating my laptop charger, sniffing it closely and then jumping back as if it could possibly karate chop him in the nose if he wasn't careful. And I thought, these are not normal dogs. What are we doing wrong here?

I turned my attention to the dumb one.
"Barney," I said, staring deeply into his eyes and holding his black beard firmly in my fist,
"Barney, you are sort of stupid, and you do really weird things, and people like to laugh at you. I am sorry to tell you this, but you get that from your mother."

Then I looked at Peter, who was making a very cross face at the couch cushion.
"Peter, you're a little rude and grouchy sometimes, and you tend to make people feel inferior, and sometimes you have no patience with your stupid brother Barney. You get that from your father."

And then I scratched their respectively stupid and self-righteous ears, and I thought about my day, and then I realized that, should my dogs be any real indication, this charming fetus of mine, for which I am about to eat a gazillion bowls of cereal, is totally in for it.

36 comments:

  1. My mother sent me an entire bag of knock-off Frosted Mini-Wheats for my Easter treat. I was more excited about that than the chocolate orange and the M&M's. Also, I ate the entire bag in about an hour. Piggy? Yes. And proud of it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lucky charms. I like to eat all the boring bits first and save the marshmallowy charms, all squidgy in pinkish-blue milk, for last!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am a Special K girl--original, none of that new-fangled crap. BTW, I absolutely love the photo composition. The mag rack makes the case.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Honey Bunches of Oats Cinnamon Clusters...I too am no longer allowed in the cereal aisle after a week where I ate 3 boxes. THREE. And I ate some of my roommate's box too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Breakfast cereal? Cracklin' Oat Bran. Oh if only it came in bigger boxes!

    Dessert cereal? Capn' Crunch. With berries, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mmm Cinnamon toast crunch. YUM

    ReplyDelete
  7. Post Selects Banana Nut Crunch.......it is simply amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My favorite cereal is Alpha Bits - the new, non-sugary kind. I know, I know, I'm the only person in the world who has fallen deep in love with their deliciousness, but I couldn't help it. Something about that cereal just speaks to me.

    Though I'd sacrifice it everyday for a bagel with cream cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Corn pops!!! All day, every day!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's a multi-way tie between Apple Jacks, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Golden Grahams...mmmm!

    As for your newly found bagel and cream cheese addiction, 18 weeks was right when I started to want bagels for every meal. Well, really the bagel was just a vehicle for the cream cheese, but you know what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Natalie, you're so funny! "I got so excited that I pulled my personal vehicle bubble over to the side of the road so I could safely jot down in my notebook, Thursday: BUY CEREAL" sealed that deal.

    And Cinnamon Toast Crunch rules my tastebuds.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm with Charlotte, there are breakfast cereals to be eaten in the morning- mini wheats and cracklin oat bran, and there are just before bed cereals- reeses puffs and life- any flavor.

    How I envy your 13 hour cereal sale- 17 boxes wouldn't last 3 weeks at this house, and there aren't that many of us occupying it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's a toss-up between Fruit Loops or Lucky Charms.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Frosted Flakes. A Classic.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ohh I've always been a Cheerios girl. When I was little I called them "Josies" but neither I nor anyone else in my strange family has any idea WHERE I came up with this nickname for my beloved Cheerios. But nowadays they come in all kinds of flavors... MultiGrain, Frosted, Honey Nut, even Chocolate! Ohh I'm in Cheerios HEAVEN! As for the originals, I love add things to them like marshmallows or Just Bunches cereal or Grape Nuts cereal. YUM! Now I'm hungry. I wish my local stores would have a cereal sale, except I don't have pregnancy as an excuse. *Durn*

    ReplyDelete
  16. OR add a little brown sugar to original Cheerios. (I just had to throw that in for good measure.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Favorite Cereal: Depends on my mood, if i'm feeling young and spry, it's Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. If I'm feeling grown up and Sophisticated, Raisin Bran Crunch. You know, cuz women our age need our fiber. ;) Actually, I'm just addicted to those little nut-cluster things...mmmm...so, so good.

    Your comment about being worn out from a day of being pregnant places made me chuckle at my desk....which i had to fake as a cough since a client was looking at me like Legal Documents shouldn't be THAT FUNNY!

    Thanks Alot nat, get me in trouble why dontcha! ;)

    xox
    ~hl~

    www.hoscorners.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wait, are you pregnant?



    Raisin Nut Bran. The kids have drained any desire I ever had for Frosted Mini-Wheats.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJune 04, 2010

    I LOVE FROSTED MINI WHEATS (not just saying it but they actually are my favorite...but we barely get to have them since my brother hates them...FORTUNATELY I GOT FIVE BOXES THE OTHER DAY! We also had a sale, 5 boxes for 10 dollars...). And oh, I remember a Kinko's experience with a pregnant lady...It ended with me congratulating her and asking her when she was due, with she answered me with a glare, told me she wasn't pregnant and stormed off. Too bad, she had a really cute pregnant tummy...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lucky Charms. Reeses Puffs. Frosted Mini Wheats (ALLLLL Flavors!). Captain Crunch. Coco Puffs. Coco Crispies (in chocolate milk of course!). I pretty much just adore cereal. I eat it ALLL the time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Reeses Puffs!! At my work (1800 contacts) we can have all the free name-brand cereal we want throughout the day! I have a 7 week old baby girl and man was I in cereal heaven for 6 months before she came!! Now it's Weight Watchers for me! I doubt you'll have the same problem though! You are super active!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cap'n Crunch rocks my vehicle bubble world. . . 'cause I like to live dangerously and eat cereal while driving. true story.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Honey Nut Chex is to die for.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poor Barney. Is he really THAT stupid? =) Cereal is such a beautiful thing, isn't it? When it's 10:45 pm and you get a hankerin' for something, what should you eat? Cereal. When you're feeling sleepy at 3:24 pm, what's the best thing to eat to wake your mouth up? Cereal. It's just the perfect snack...and I don't even have to TELL you how great it is in the morning!

    My favorite...I think....is probably Cap'n Crunch. Nuthin' like it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I've been known to live on cereal. I've also been known to make an elaborate dinner for Sam and personally eat cereal! And I agree with the people who say there are "breakfast" cereals and "dessert" cereals - I totally maintain this! And I once went on a cereal shopping spree too. There was a blog about it but I wasn't organizing my blogs properly in the past so there's no way to find it in a short period of time.

    Anyway. Frosted Mini Wheats ARE my favorite! But you knew this. Since we are related - it's genetics!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Kashi autumn wheat....we live in CO with all the fun hippie cereal and this one isn't too sweet or too bland!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have lived on Honey Nut Cheerios. They are a dream truly!
    I saved a Daddy Long Legs from drowning death and he proceeded to jump back in the shower. What is wrong with him? It made me think of your interesting prospective on life this morning. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Cap'n Crunch with Life Cereal running a very close second would have to be my favorites. But enough about the cereal talk. I take a little break from the blogosphere only to return to find out that the "Fat Rat" has successfully reproduced??? This is amazing news. Congrats! Well done Holbsimpregnator!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh Natalie, this post is exactly what I needed! I love all of it!

    Does granola count as a cereal....I've never met a granola I didn't like. I'm not a big cereal person but when I was knocked up I had a serious cereal crave. I would eat a whole box in two days!

    19 weeks of fetus bliss!! Anatomy scan anyone??

    ReplyDelete
  30. my comment is totally unrelated to your post, but i found myself thinking of buying patio furniture and wishing i had your vision for such a set up.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Weezie is apparently my soul sister - My favorite line about bagels, which I use often - They are delicious, but really just a vehicle for the cream cheese. : ) Awesomeness!!

    And favorite cereal is most especially Golden Grahams. Honey Nut Cheerios is a close second, tho. I need to go to the store now, pardon me. !!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Love it. :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lucky Charms. Love them. It's a seriously guilty pleasure. and you crack me up.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Honeycomb. How boring is that?

    Also, I don't even want Honeycomb after reading this. I want a bagel. And I'm going to eat one.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Kashi- Autumn Wheat.
    Living in Colorado we get all the hippie cereal and this one is SOO good and NO SODIUM..crazy right?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Aww man! All I have is Kashi in the house right now and your making me crave the good stuff! Oh for some chocolatey goodness right about now!!

    Off topic...

    My husband wants to go back to school and I stay at home with our 2 kids. How do you guys make it work? Can student loans give you money to live on? You can email me if you want, I have so many questions. I want him to be able to go back.

    thanks!
    Val

    ReplyDelete
  36. Everyone, and I mean everyone, hates me for this answer, but my very favoritest of all the favorites is just plain Cheerios. Now, it has to be the brand name, mind you, because all of the other kinds are horribly not Cheerio-ey. That is the only kind of cereal that I ever eat.

    Unless we are camping. And if we are camping, then I like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Only.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated because mama ain't no fool.