THAT VERY NIGHT IN MAX'S ROOM A FOREST GREW


we are so very very sad in our house today to hear the news that maurice sendak has passed. bless that man, he had a huge part in getting us through some hard times.

it's weird to be back in the head space of "part-time infertile" after a nice twenty-eight month break. there's a lot of uncertainty, frustration, and fear that sneaks in when i'm not careful, and sometimes i let myself think it's too hard. the truth is, that's a load of crap. it is what it is, and life is made up of complications and worries. mr. sendak wasn't afraid of the worries or the complications or the scary side of love. that's what i liked best about him. he thought our kids should be exposed to their doubts early, he knew they could handle it. his words are like poetry, hinting at all kinds of insecurities, and giving them plenty of space to breathe, and plenty of space for us to square with them.

for my birthday in 2009, when my doubts fears and frustrations were at their worst, brandon gave me a copy of where the wild things are, for the future max he felt certain we'd find. i wasn't so sure. i was so angry, and so sad. the wild things were in me, scraping and tearing and causing such a rumpus. but brandon was right, as he so often is, and in the months and years since that tattered old copy has become one of my most prized possessions. when i read it to huck at night i always pause on the first page, run my fingers along that old ink, and remember that good things come to those who aren't afraid.

let the wild rumpus start. 


thank you, maurice, for sharing your dear beautiful soul with us. 
i hope you rest in peace, in a great pile. 
and give old mca a high fiver for me.

p.s. these are worth watching:
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Grim Colberty Tales with Maurice Sendak Pt. 1
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Grim Colberty Tales with Maurice Sendak Pt. 2
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive

44 comments:

  1. What a wonderfully sweet husband you have! I teared up a little! Such a lovely story...

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  2. oh! nat, this made me cry.

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  3. A beautiful post and what a lovely note from your husband.

    Katie
    www.mummydaddyandmemakesthree.co.uk

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  4. "it will get worn and dirty and torn from using it so much" isn't that just the sweetest truth about a good book and a good heart. Thank you for sharing both today.

    Aloha,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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  5. OH and then I just watched the Colbert report clip you shared-- well that is not so sweet, but I really, really loved it! ha!

    xoxo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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  6. That made me cry. What a good hubby you have! I'm right there with you, Nat. We're seeing a fertility specialist next week in our quest for Thompson kid #5.

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  7. I have been thinking about this book all day. People always act like it's about childhood, but lately, to me, it seems so much about true motherlove. Natalie, this is a gorgeous, touching post. I'll wave my hands above my head and shriek "Rumpus rumpus!" for you (which is how we read those three spreads around here).

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  8. this is my most fave post you've ever written.

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  9. such a beautiful post to remember a great man!!
    xo TJ

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  10. I loved the post Natalie....thank you ♥

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  11. This made me cry :) Your hubs is the sweetest...
    and thank you for updating everyday... unlike the other blogs I read who rarely do! I always know you will have a way to entertain me after my baby goes to sleep <3

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  12. Natalie, this is the most touching post I've read since his passing. So poignant about the wild things that are within us, and how we learn to face them.

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  13. This is such a great post! That husband of yours is a keeper! Hope is better than knowing...I love it. Thanks for sharing this.

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  14. This is such a lovely, lovely post. It has been such a sad day around these parts. I just finished up my MA in Children's Literature and Mr. Sendak is near and dear both to me and to my classmates. Reading all these personal Sendak stories has really made me feel better. Thank you for sharing!

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  15. This is so wonderful. I love how much he inspired all of us.

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  16. Oh em gee, that made me tear up. Very sweet.

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  17. So beautifully written. Stop making me tear up, woman! And love the note Holbs wrote for you...very moving and loving and warm.

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  18. my eyes are full of tears; you are full of sweetness

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  19. Some books just stay with you forever. Sometimes i'll just be walking along and a phrase from a book comes into my mind and stays with me for the rest of the day. pen is mightier than the sword and all that. lovely post.

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  20. i teared up too - a meaningful note in a book is so much. and that is a testament to hope and to believing. thank you for sharing.

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  22. Nat-
    *Oops...that darn cat walked across the keyboard. I suppose he had something to say but couldn't manage it with paws and all.
    I'll try again. So beautifully said and so brave to share your own fears out into the unknown...but like your wise other half knows...hope is where it's at.
    I bought this same book for my hubs when we were with child. It is a delightfully frightening time, but one to face with hope.
    Thank you.
    ~Deirdre

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  23. praying for you. i've walked down the same path and some days the pain is so deep it feels like you can't even breathe. hope does prevail, and i trust that in His perfect time, your life will again be blessed by another bundle of joy.
    God bless!

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  24. Wow this is so neat, thanks for sharing this special story with us.


    http://gandacummings.blogspot.com

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  25. What a beautiful story, thank you for sharing. Husbands always know best don't they? Where would we be without them?

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  26. Reading what Brandon wrote to you (yes we're on a first name basis haha) made me cry legitimate tears down my face. And, again, I know you only through your blog and have never struggled with infertility (I'm 25 and single). Just so so so sweet.

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  27. Reading what Brandon wrote to you (yes we're on a first name basis haha) made me cry legitimate tears down my face. And, again, I know you only through your blog and have never struggled with infertility (I'm 25 and single). Just so so so sweet.

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  28. Dear Nathalie, hope is indeed a beautiful thing, outweighing all the fears and negatives we encounter along our way. You have an incredibly sweet husband and a gorgeous little to walk this path with you, through all the highs and lows, and in the end, whatever happens, it will have been worth the while.
    And if you ever decide to cross the Atlantic with that beautiful family of yours (esp direction Belgium), my little family (husband & thirteen month old boy) would love to walk a bit with you as well.

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  29. Nat, this post made me cry a lot. My husband and I are looking for a house. We are not trying to have babies. This whole process has been emotionally exhausting for me. All of our wedding gifts are packed away in basements of in-laws waiting until we have our own perfect little place. I'm completely overwhelmed by the uncertainty and I constantly doubt that we'll ever find anything. It could take years, and I feel like my whole life is on hold until then. The idea that hope is better than knowing...seems dubious to me right now...but it's a nice thought to hold on to. I love this post so much. Thank You.

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  30. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful author. He will be missed, but left behind a beautiful legacy for all of us.

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  31. This is beautifully written.
    There was a lovely interview with Gregory Maguire on NPR yesterday about Sendak's passing. He considered the writer a mentor and friend, and he shared such sweet words about him...hearing it made me love Sendak and his works even more. I think you would enjoy it (http://www.npr.org/2012/05/08/152286125/wicked-author-on-his-mentor-maurice-sendak)

    -haley

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  32. Thank you for that! Hysterical videos.

    And hon, the children will come to you. Sometimes you have to work at it the way you did and sometimes they come whether you are ready or not. Just ask me about the neighbor boy who has become my own. Blessings for the noise of many children, jb

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  33. That note from your husband made me cry. So sweet. I went through seven rounds of IVF to have my kids (one of whom was carried via surrogate) so I know that dark feeling of "it will never happen for me" very well. How sweet of him to remind you that we all deserve to be mothers and never to give up hope. It is a relief to have that part of my life behind me and I wish you all the best in crossing over to the other side, where basal cell temperature and scheduled sex are not part of the program.
    Best,
    Suzanne

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  34. oh my...those videos just made my day!

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  35. chills! goosebumps! maybe even a tear or two!

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  36. oh, such a beautiful post. the note from your husband gave me chills. hold on to that hope!

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  37. Thank you for sharing those videos of Colbert and Maurice. Hilarious! And best wishes for you and your family... with each post, Holbs sounds more and more like the world's #1 husband!

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  38. Your husband! Hold on to him tightly, for he's one of the good ones. I know it will happen for you again...praying for your strength. Hope is indeed a beautiful thing!

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  39. I first read that message from your husband on Instagram and I cried. Now I'm reading it again here (I'm very behind on my blog reading!) and tears are welling my eyes again! Your children are going to love this book when they're old enough to realise how much they were wanted and loved.

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  40. Dear Nat, this post made me tear up. Your blog is so sweet.

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  41. you have to watch this. it's hilarious. christopher walken reading where the wild things are. get past the first two minutes and it gets really funny.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKNaYlzssbc

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  42. And your kids will read that dedication and feel so very blessed that Dad loves Mum so much. xx

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  43. I just found your blog and I am reading through your archives... this post has made my heart hurt! Your blog is so truthful and open, but also light and funny. Thank you thank you for this post, it makes me have hope that my husband and I might finally get our babe one day! x

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