PHOTOS FROM THE JUNK DRAWER

Are you in for a treat!

This week we've been doing all sorts of exciting junk around the house. Such as... setting aside all the pants Huck's outgrown since spring. And redesigning the blog on a whim. (Why do I do this?) And then this huge project I finally finished just now, the sorting through of all the photos on all our old hard drives so the graphics team at my publishing house can get started already on the layout of my book. Which is weird. (Almost as weird as me trying very hard right now to properly use CAPITAL LETTERS and SHIFT KEYS! I swear this is slowing my brain down, do I really have to do this? You're Worth It, InTeRnEt.) 

Ohhh, you misty watercolor memories. A few photos felt like a punch to the gut they carried so much of my heart. All the feelings, all the sentimental garbage, blah blah blah, uh wee-oh wee-oh wee-oh (is what Huck used to say when he was certain he was saying actual sentences but only really knew maybe a handful of words). So here are a few. I think they've never made the blog (as far as I remember?), but, eh. Cue the Barbra Streisand. Go get a kleenex.

Huck on his first birthday. We had a little costume party with all his little friends. He went as Charlie Brown. 

This unflattering photo, taken in Lancaster, PA. Looking back on this, I should have known. I should have known that this Amish hat that I jokingly told Brandon I would buy just to get a reaction out of him would some day haunt me forever. I have seriously kicked myself over and over for not getting it. Come to my house, you might think I live on a farm. I'm not kidding. What is up with me? I am thinking of learning to pickle green beans this summer.

I can actually, physically feel that puppy when I look at this photo. Oh golly. I can smell him. His grape jelly head and those corn chip paws. The rough hairs along his belly and the soft hairs on the top of his head. Oh I want to give that boy a real good snuzzle. Barnaby MacDuffleMuffins, your mommy misses you. 

So this one time I was asked to speak at a blog conference, and it was, like, 2009, and I had no idea what in the world I was doing, and they needed a headshot, and I was all, "Would this work?" and then Brandon said, "No."

Barney was very supportive when I asked for his assistance in teaching Brandon how to swaddle a baby. 

These are the lilacs we grew along the back fence of our yard in Idaho. Brandon and I talk about these lilacs all the time. We often wonder how they're doing. If you're in Moscow + you happen to see them, will you tell them we say hi?

I wrote a post about the 13-hour cereal sale at the Rosauers a million years ago. It's this eternally weird yearly tradition in Moscow, and who even knew it but I guess I'd taken a photo for documentation purposes that I promptly forgot about the minute I left. So there you go. That's a lot of Frosted Mini Wheats, but I stand by it. 

The view from my room of dreams when our killer Hyacinth was blooming. 

Me, Elk River, twenty-five weeks pregnant, being a very good sport.

Oh break my heart, Peter Pan. 

The rainbow over Roosevelt Island the day Huck was born.

All three of us Randys.

!!!!

Are you seeing this, uterus?!? Come on already! What gives!

Hashtag Real Life, Bishessss. Nursing on a Thursday morning, giant tangle of who knows what on the dresser. Glamorous.

But really, guys. Thank heaven for selfies. Quit villainizing the selfies! (Pregnancy + nursing hormones gave me some really killer freckles, right? Not very cute killer freckles. Sloppy killer freckles.)

Huck's cousin Theo came to visit us one April when they were both about six months old. I sometimes forget how hysterically fat my baby was, I'm so glad I have ridiculous photos like these to remind me. Everything I ever wanted, I tell you.

This is the closest I'll ever get to a Felicity-opening-credits-esque shot in this lifetime, probably. (Hey Kaitlyn... I just got an idea....)

There was once a time when Brandon was so opposed to having his photo taken, so righteously indignant every time the camera came out, that this was the face he made. Every single time. To my future children: please use this photo for your dad's funeral program.

Huck's first subway ride, at four days old. Can we talk about my pregnancy hair?

Your girl is lovely, Hubbell!

The end.

SPENT / LOOKING FOR CHANGE

It's a big honor for me today to be able to bring a little attention to a wonderful film about a social issue that, to one degree or another, will likely affect all of us over the course of our lives. 

"Spent: Looking For Change" is a film, sponsored by American Express and produced by An Inconvenient Truth's Davis Guggenheim, that tells the stories of four financially under-served families here in the United States, depicting respectfully and truthfully what it's like to make your way through a financial system that excludes you entirely.

These stories are important to me, on a personal level. When Brandon and I were first married, things were tight. I was in my last semester of college, Brandon had just graduated with a Bachelors of Accounting, the economy was in a hole and falling deeper by the day (it was just after 9-11), and the only work Brandon could get was a night shift at the Costco, restocking ham from 2am until 10. Our first year of marriage was hard. It was really hard. We lived on opposite schedules. we hardly saw each other awake. We flat out didn't have enough money to make ends meet and often resorted to paying for the things we needed on credit. I remember going to the grocery store the week before Brandon's birthday--we'd been married about two months--and carefully selecting what would feed us for two weeks plus ingredients for a really nice birthday dinner, and then panicking at the register when the total came to fifty dollars. Fifty dollars! Did i have fifty dollars? I felt so guilty, it was way too much money to be spending on food considering how tight things were. (Until that day i'd never spent more than $20 at the grocery store.) I called Brandon in tears on the way home, apologizing profusely but refusing to leave any food behind, because damn it, he was going to have a nice birthday dinner. 

These days we're doing pretty all right. We're doing better than all right, we're doing great. But the road we took to get here was bumpy. In a rough economy, the only way Brandon could land the type of job that would provide for a family the way he wanted was through education. And more education. Two post-graduate degrees, each one making him a more desirable employee but also taking us further into debt. I was lucky to find a good job while he was in school that made it possible for me to get a loan and buy a house. We were hoping to break even (or even profit!) once Brandon graduated and we sold the house.... but then the housing bubble burst, and our house didn't sell, and there weren't any jobs, and the only thing to do was to get a third post-graduate degree, a degree that essentially doubled our student loan debt in just one year, oh and I was seven months pregnant at the time.

Through all this we were lucky. And that's the word for it: lucky. We were lucky to have family that could help us when things got tight. We were lucky that the house did eventually sell. (We only barely broke even.) We were lucky that Brandon got accepted to the number one program in his field, and we were lucky to find a free clinic in New York that would take me despite my lack of health insurance and my advanced stage of pregnancy. (Most OB/GYN in NYC won't take you unless they've had you from day one.) We were lucky to qualify for government assistance so that we could buy groceries, and we were lucky that Henry was born healthy, without any exorbitant medical costs, and that Brandon was able to get a job, a good job, immediately after he graduated (... for the fourth time). Since then we've been able to make our bills and pay our rent, and even have a little fun in this crazy city, and that's amazing. I'll never take it for granted, nor the help we had in getting here. We should all be so lucky.

We're in the minority. Looking around New York City, you're aware of just how high the highs can be, but you're also aware of just how low the lows can get when bad luck strikes. We are lucky. Many of our friends seem luckier; they grew up with the kinds of opportunities that we never had--parents who could pay their tuitions outright, connections to influential people, incomes that are never hampered by student loans--but many more of our friends are not. They're freelancers, doing things in untraditional ways or in creative fields, making ends meet just barely one month and then very easily the next. And we know just how quickly our fortunes can change, from first-hand experience and from second-hand experience. Many, many of us will find ourselves in the position where we have to scramble, so it's important that we educate ourselves now, and band together to support those who need that support now, so that there's a system in place should we ever need that support ourselves. There's a lot we can do, and I'm honored today to help spread the word so we all can start. 

If you have a spare half hour, watch this film. You'll be glad you did. (It's only 40 minutes, and so well made--these stories are told so earnestly and honorably). Then check out spentmovie.com to find out what you can do to get involved. Think of it as an investment in your own future, should your luck take a temporary leave of absence.

This post was sponsored by American Express. @amexserve

AROUND HERE LATELY

Yo! it was a real good weekend. Good weather, good friends, some dang good hummus in there, too, And now we have a whole week stretching ahead of us. And a whole summer, too. It's kind of exciting. I have a real good feeling about this summer. Real goods all around.

It's rainy and drizzly this week and we've been enjoying this mellow start to things. Long mornings in our jams, spinning records while making breakfast, and hauling out the water color paints to paint commissioned portraits for my rather demanding three-year-old. I like this schedule. (Today Huck requested: one penguin, one castle, a carrot with a face, one bunny eating said carrot with a face, and--best part--a broom. Twice. Two brooms.)

Here's what else we've been up to.

1. Weekend picnics in Sheep Meadow with my dudes:

2. Learning to batik in Brooklyn:

3. Playing with friends, and sticking our faces inside every flowering bush we walk past, ever:

What number am I on now, four? 

4. Lincoln Center for our daily scoot. Huck goes as fast as his little legs can push him while I check my email and make sure he isn't crashing into anybody. And then sometimes he asks for my phone so he can get pictures of his scooter (and his mom, blurry, seemingly missing one hand):

Aaaaaand, 5. We're registering Huck for Pre-K. How did this happen so fast!?! Let me tell you, registering a kid for Pre-K out here is IN-VOLVED. We're talking tooth and nail here to get a spot off the wait list for the half day program, because I just can't get behind the all day program for my not-even-four-year-old, so we're gunning for the unicorn half-day spot in the pot-of-gold half day program at the end-of-the-rainbow school about thirty or so blocks north of us. Wish us luck! 

(With an acceptance rate of 9% (!!!!!) we're going to need it.)

The end.

ON ME: from the top, dress / sunglasses (scored on eBay) / sandals from zara last year ; hat / shorts / wellies ; maxi

P.S. You can find direct links to everything from my shop page, in case you want to browse all my favorites at once!)

GET ME DRESSED / 011

What I wore to brunch with friends last weekend. To a restaurant I incorrectly called "Southern Comfort" on Instagram when actually it's called Southern Hospitality. Whoops! (Dude. My apologies, Justin Timberlake.)

I am such a fan of Hackwith Design House (the makers of the beautiful tasseltry hanging above our bed), and I'm so excited to be working with them today to style a few of their new pieces, due for release very soon. Hackwith is a small independent design house based in the midwest. They release a few new pieces every Monday morning from their webshop, in very limited quantities, so every purchase is few-of-a-kind, and feels like a little victory when you snag just the piece your closet's been missing. Every item is handmade, the materials are top notch, and the draping is always so elegant. I've been lucky enough to own a few Hackwith pieces and they are always standouts in my wardrobe. All I want to wear anymore are these understated, muted neutrals, and it can be hard to find pieces that hit all the sweet spots. I felt just like me the minute I slipped this on, and isn't that the goal?

Here are a few quick photos we snapped after getting down with some chicken + waffles. (The thing about chicken and waffle is, insert a million heart emojis right here.)

p.s. huck

ON ME: the Alder top c/o Hackwith Design House (set for release June 9) / horsehair clutch c/o Primecut Bags, in partnership with Hackwith Design House for their Makers Alongside series (set for release through Hackwith's shop June 4) / jeans / birks /  sunglasses / cuff found at a roadside jewelry table in Arizona / day 8 hair c/o my intense laziness + finally nailing the perfect dry shampoo routine (more on this later)

*Many elements of this outfit can be found on my shop page, where I'm attempting to keep all my favorite finds organized for you. So when you wonder where I got something? Check there. (It's not my shop per se, just a handy way to find junk. You know.)

**Do like me and set an alarm on your phone for Monday morning Hackwith releases. I'm regularly pointing my Safari app to their site first thing Monday mornings, all bleary-eyed, while still in bed. Total recipe for disastrous impulse shopping, yes. But when you find "the one," it's worth it. Maybe. ;)

*** Huck's ridiculous watermelon helmet can be found on Amazon ;).

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND / 02

Happy June! How did this happen!?!

The B and I are traditionally Yankees fans. I don't really know why. Actually, I don't follow any teams, of anything, and Brandon only really follows basketball during March Madness (he is determined every year that he'll finally beat my brackets but you know what, I always win anyway), and this year, ice hockey (why?? Go Rangers?), but there it is. Sometimes I think like maybe our agency was stripped from us when we first moved to New York, by virtue of the fact that this one time we got $5 tickets to a Yankees game on Brandon's 28th birthday and then that was just it, like the matter was settled for us. (WAS BRANDON EVER THAT YOUNG HOLY CRAP!)

And maybe this will make your eyes roll all over the place, but I've always felt more spiritually connected to the Mets, if you know what I mean. You know, they're the underdogs. A little less shiny than the other team, not nearly as much money... that is so the Holbrook style. All this is just a spectacularly uninteresting way of saying hey! So we went to a Mets game last weekend! and I made us all get Mets hats to rectify the Yankees hat situation back home. And actually, I don't even know who won the game, now that I think about it. I made us leave early so we wouldn't get crushed on the subway by hordes of humanity heading home. So yes, there were peanuts, and Crackerjack, I did care very much about getting back... Buzzkill, party of one.

Did Huck insist that he and his dad wear matching superhero arm bands to the baseball game? Of course he did. 

Double dog, popcorn, Crackerjack, pretzel baptized in holy cheese sauce. Extra 'kraut. Super healthy. Not pictured: my fifteen dollar diet coke. Just kidding, it was only $8. 

Pointless aside: the other day Huck and I were talking about our favorite vegetables. ("Mom, can we talk about someping?") Huck said he liked broccoli and carrots, and I said I liked sauerkraut and beets, and then we both looked at each other a little funny. Because, yeah, that does sound gross. Also, sauerkraut is a vegetable only so far as pickles are a vegetable. Which, they totally are.

Huck could have made it all nine innings, he loved all of the cheering and shouting. I was really impressed. Brandon did take him back into the concessions area about halfway through the game so they could get some cotton candy, sort of a get-the-gingers-out-of-the-sun break. 

I still haven't decided whether I'd rather be a Mets or Yankees fan. Maybe I just don't like labels. In the end, I suppose I'd like to be like Switzerland. Or Bella Wwan! You know, with the wolf and the vamp. 

Anyway. Baseball. Now it's really summer!

Take us out, Huck.

P.S. a Yankees game 10th anniversary date last summer.