Envy Me, Foolish Mortals

For our anniversary this year, we're going to Disneyland. 

Here are some things you HAVE TO DO when you go to Disneyland,
I don't care who you are.

1.) Spend a lot of time on Main Street. Go in the penny arcade, ride the train and see the dinosaurs. Nobody does this part right, it's gross. No you aren't supposed to rush through it!

2.) Ride It's A Small World first, Fantasyland comes next. (Don't skip Storybook!) Take a moment in Peter Pan's Flight to get teary eyed.

3.) Fronteirland via the pathway by the old sky tram. Mourn the sky tram. (RIP sky tram) Watch the fake fish jump in the pond. Fronteirland used to have the best burgers, it's really sad.

4.) New Orleans Square and Adventureland are next. I loooove the Jungle Cruise. Never skip the Tiki Room! It is like a time machine in there and I love it. Get a Dole Whip. Adventureland has the best souvenirs. Stop at the restrooms and listen to the fortune teller in the second story.

5.) Double back and hit Critter Country and ride Splash, and then GET A CARAMEL APPLE AT POOH CORNER. CARAMEL APPLE, POOH CORNER.

6.) Yeah, Tomorrowland. We only ride Space Mountain once, I don't care, it's not worth that line twice.

7.) Notice I didn't say anything about going to Toon Town? Yes.


  1. Skip Tower of Terror?! Heretic! I can totally get on board with all your other suggestions, but skipping Tower of Terror is just crazy-talk.

    But I suppose I can forgive someone who also recognizes Disneyland's wonder and realizes that sans-kids is best.

  2. disneyland to me = matterhorn x 4 + mickey-shaped ice cream sandwich (cookies & cream...mmm) + fireworks (i can also hear them from my house every night, it's pretty awesome) + pirates x a million (although, i prefer the pre-p.c. version. give me a pirate chasing after a wench/hooker any day) + fantasmic + electrical light parade + TOM SAWYERS ISLAND!!!, have i forgotten anything? i'm so jealous...maybe i can talk my husb into a trip to disney :) have fun!!

  3. I've never been to DisneyLAND as we always lived on the east coast side of things but I have been to DisneyWORLD twice. Unfortunately they were when I was 4 & 7 and probably don't have many bright insights to add here except that I went on It's a Small World TEN times when I was there until my Dad finally told me something like it was broken so we could move on!

  4. Love your list.
    I need to make one of my own.
    Give me a few hours.

  5. I am with you. I LOVE DISNEYLAND!!!!! I just wish my husband did too. Since he grew up in California Disneyland is just the place you go when you want to make out with a girl in Small World. I try to tell him that I can make that happen. (probably not with the kids though) If you every make it to the Disney Land security station you will find a picture of a very young Mark amongst all the others who have been banned form Disneyland FOREVER. That is what happens when you get got sneaking in.
    I wish we could have gone with you guys! It would have been the FUNNEST weekend ever! Thanks for inviting us!

  6. Thunder Mountain Railroad. That is all I need say. I totally heart Thunder Mountain Railroad!!! My sister, however, is a diehard Haunted Mansion girl, and both she and Jim love Splash Mountain. You couldn't PAY my mom or me to go on that ride again!!! Every time we go, we're mocked for our fear of Splash Mountain, so we hang around the fence and watch the log go down and say to each other, "It's only a three-second drop, right?! We can do three seconds!" And then we do. And we're terrified. And we vow never to do it again.

    Plus, you CANNOT do Disneyland without going on Pirates, Space Mountain (sorry--I disagree!), and Matterhorn, if it's ever freaking WORKING. I totally miss the skytram, by the way. But it's been soooo long since I've even been to Disneyland, I can't remember what's there and what's not! I've never even been to the new part, so I have no idea how cool Disneyland even is now!

    And by the way, Disneyland + kids = crappy time. It's TRUE!!! We went with some of my mom's friends once who had a two-year-old little girl--really cute, but she FREAKED when we tried to go have lunch at the restaurant in the Pirates ride. So I NEVER got to eat there!!! And I was DYING to! So I'm just a wee bit bitter. Yeah, it's been ten years, but...bitter all the same. Disneyland is for 12 and up. And that's all I'll say.

  7. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    So... Your going to Disnyland while Im at france and Italy... In fact, I'm posting in a Mc Donalds right now! In France

  8. Natalie,
    You must do Disney World.

    If you enjoy the shops and people watching and taking it all in, ho-lee-buckets you MUST visit Epcot. Regions of the park are themed by country, have shops that sell actual things from said countries and employ actual people from those countries.

    England has great fish and chips. The Geishas in Japan bow to you excessively, which is fun. I spoke French with a Parisienne in the wine shop in France on our honeymoon. Germany sells the best candies. It's magical in an awesomely divine and, as you say, worshipful sort of way.

    You simply must go. Add it to your list.

    Also, I'd do Soarin' approx. 28 more times.

  9. How did I miss this post? I had my maiden trip to Disneyland only a year and a half ago. I was NOT expecting it to truly be a magical place, but IT IS! I could tangibly feel the magic as we approached the freakin' parking lot! Oh, it's such a wonderful place! And, you'll be glad to hear, I very nearly cried when I glided through those gates; if Mickey Mouse would've been there to greet me, I'd have wept audibly, I am sure.

    My favorites? Space Mountain (yes!), Tower of Terror (YES!) and Soarin'. We went on a few good days, though, plus we worked the fast track ticket thingy, 'cause we were able to avoid the mondo lines, even at Space Mountain.

    Something to avoid? We got there as soon as the gates opened our second day there and hit Space Mountain first (got right on without any sort of line!), then headed next door to Space Tours (which I did not love), then ran back to Space Mountain for another go. NEVER DO THAT. I begged my peeps to guide me and my feeble stomach to something much more tranquil, like Pirates of the Caribbean or something like unto it.

    I want to go back...

  10. Oh my golly, I know this is an old post but HOT DAMN... You are speaking to mah soul sistah!

    I must add going on Haunted Mansion and lip-synching with Paul Frees through the entire ride (because who doesn't want to make it appear that you have the voice of Paul Frees?) (and no, I don't own the soundtrack to that ride and know it by heart, how dare you accuse me of such a - ok, fine, you got me there... Is this haunted room ACTUALLY stretching?!)

    Oh, and there is a definite need to grab a Gibson Girl ice cream cone as they shuffle you back down Main Street before closing. And wearing Mickey ears all day (all day dammit!) while sprinting around the park like a 7 year old hopped up on churros (of which you must eat at least three throughout the day).

    Crikey... I need to go to Disneyland immediately, if not sooner.


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