2.14.2011

huck's eyelashes did not grow in until he was almost two months old, for the record


behold the lashes, when they were real

if i could take this whole weekend that i just lived, bundle it up into a cute little package, and then top it with a pearly bow of wisdom, it would look like this:

please be careful with your eyelash curlers.

the first thing i thought after i stumbled sideways while attempting to curl my lashes and push huck's bouncy chair with my foot at the same time, thus ripping out the entirety of the eyelashes on my left eyelid, was: huh, i always figured this would happen to me eventually.

the second thing i thought was, that did not hurt nearly as much as i thought it might!

and then i realized what had just happened, and i fell to my knees and rent my clothing in despair! (not really.)

noooooooooooo! i thought. my one true beauty!

oh brother it is startling how much of one's feminine identity is kept in your eyelashes. and what of me now? huh?

eyelashes   !!

brandon came home from his walk with the pooches while i was in there trying to be brave about things. 

"no matter!" i was saying in a chipper tone to my huckleberry, who, let's face it, was entirely to blame. "just eyelashes! they grow back! right? don't they?" 

and then the holbswalker took off his scarf, triggering a massive release of pent up emotion. 

"what happened?" he asked.

"let's not talk about it, i am in the depths of despair," i answered.

i walked resignedly into the bedroom and laid my bones on the bed in a tragical heap. i bemoaned my very existence. i dreamed up wild solutions, like winning the lottery to pay for eyelash extensions, or ripping out the rest of my lashes and calling it "art!" or possibly never leaving the apartment.

i will tell you i have never felt more anne-shirleyish in all of my life. it's good for you sometimes. that's my theory anyway.

eventually i remembered this thing called "false lashes," which are actually pretty cheap and somewhat realistic looking these days, and then things perked up quite a bit. especially since i realized that i could justify an immediate trip to the duane reade to get some. going to the duane reade is one of my most favorit things to do lately. while i was there i could probably also look at nail polish colors and get a pack of twizzlers.

and so, really . . .
and, they grow back! right?
i mean, don't they? 

50 comments :

  1. I am still waiting for my eyelashes to grow, or at least become visible!

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  2. I feel your pain. My eyelashes are so short and slant downwards...well, I might as well not have them. :P

    Here's to rapid regrowth!!

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  3. It will take years for them to fully grow back.

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  4. ahaha! So glad that something SO awful turned into getting twizzlers! Way to look on the bright side!

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  5. My heart goes out to you. Guys just don't understand these sort of things!! I LOVE your comment about ripping the rest off and calling it "art."

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  6. Sadly, I can tell you from experience that they DO grow back. And for me, it didn't take too long. I was at a playground in Central Park and I put the diaper bag on the back of the stroller and the weight made it tip and the rubber handle rubbed off all my eyelashes on my right eye.

    I also was in the depths of despair and my dad thought it would be really funny to tell me that they don't grow back! Not funny!

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  7. I am so so so sorry this happened to you. My deepest sympathies! Seriously! Oh, the sound of my lashes ripping out just sounds excruciating - physically and emotionally. Gosh, who knew lashes would be something that you could sincerely mourn over?

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  8. I can't believe you called yourself Anne Shirley before I could.

    My friend Emmie once tore out all her eyelashes with a curler as well. She wrote about it here.

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  9. I know what you mean about that moment! I often have it when I accidentally touch things in the kitchen that are too hot to touch and I just watch in wonder as a blister comes up on my hand.

    Secondly, i feel your eyelash pain. As someone who cannot wear mascara without smudging (even the most waterproof of waterproofs!) due to the shape of my eyes, I do feel that eyelashes are the very essence of femininity.

    I hope the rest of your weekend was better.

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  10. I once accidentally just cut out a chunk of my eyelashes (right from the middle!) while trying to tame a stray eyebrow hair. That is a funny look, let me tell you. And also, they grew back in just fine and perfectly quickly. Just think how often you lose eyelashes.. if they didn't grow back in, no one would have any left.

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  11. Nooooooooo that's my worst nightmare! Hope they don't take too long to grow back.

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  12. I once burnt my eyelashes off (long story) and they grew back before I even noticed). Plus, fake eyelashes are amazing these days. I have a friend who wears the individual lashes (they come in little clumps of lashes rather than a whole eye, you know?) every day and has never looked OTT to me.
    Good luck!

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  13. i loved every single word of this. well, except the part where something gravely terrible happened to you, but you know what i mean. do the fake lashes, you won't regret it - i promise!

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  14. No! that's so sad! I'm sorry Natalie!

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  15. So sorry- I did the same thing once while curling my eyelashes. I googled it and was so worried they wouldn't grow back, but within 2 months it was like it had never happened!

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  16. I've tried to place it before and I've finally got it! You look just like Fleur on the Harry Potter movies. Or Aron Ralston's lost love on "127 Hours." Especially in that bottom right photo. I'm sorry about your eyelashes. I'm pretty sure that would result in some serious weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth 'round these parts.

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  17. They'll be back, lickety-split, take it from another person who burned them off (exploding boat! it was the most exciting "what did you do over summer vacation story EVER!) and who also nervously tugs on them... they will be back. But... OUCH! Ow, ow, OW! And I love your description of your response when you husband came back inside, that progression happens to me all the time, especially the foot feeling awfully stampy.

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  18. I did the same thing in high school! And yes, they do grow back. Mine didn't take very long to grow back, but they looked incredibly awkward during the in between when they were short little stubs. Here's to good fake eyelashes!

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  19. Oh, Natalie, chin up. Cancer patients lose their eyelashes to chemo all the time. That's when you tell yourself...things could be worse.

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  20. i'm keeping your eyelashes in my prayers :)
    p.s. i don't think i've ever said hi, so 'hi'!!! and your baby is the cutest in the world.
    p.p.s. as corrie says above, we lose eyelashes all the time and if they didn't grow back...well, we'd all have "bald" eyes

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  21. Good grief. People still use eyelash curlers???
    Used one once and decided that there is enough torture in life without self-inflicting that one again.

    From this day forward, may this be the worst thing that ever happens to you.

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  22. My cousin once 'lost' half her eyelashes on one eyelid in a mysterious, late night incident with a cigarette lighter.

    Being of the glamourous and maybe slightly vain type, she was devastated, in mourning for days and utterly ashamed of her drunken antics.

    Then she found eyelash implants at her beauty salon and she was reborn. They were temporary but looked fabulous. She looked like a camel with these long, sweeping eye shades! So much so, that I contemplated singeing my own eyelashes so I could join her. (Only joking, of course).

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  23. I have a fear of that happening to me! Eyelash-curlers are risky business. I hope they grow back fast for you!

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  24. I did the exact same thing when my little cupcake was a baby. I may have cried. Anyway, here is what you do: you spend 28.00 on some revitalash on Amazon, apply it faithfully every day for a couple of months, and blow me a kiss when your eyelashes are in full flirty force again.
    It really worked for me. And you're welcome. :)

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  25. You will become addicted to fake eyelashes, I know it. I wore some in 2000 for a photo shoot, and think on every occasion since "will this be a fake eyelash sort of affair?" Sadly, it never is....

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  26. oh no! my mom did that in hightschool...back when they didn't have false eyelashes at the duane reade! wouldn't that be even awfuller??

    i laughed when you said "my one true beauty!" i like to quote 'little women'...one of my favortie lines being when jo sells her hair to get $$ for the family and little sis amy exlaims, "NO! jo...not your hair...it's your one true beauty!!" :)

    they will grow back.

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  27. I am laughing right now because every day I check my 24 day old baby's eyelashes for growth! I did the same thing with my three year old when he was a baby.

    I hope your lashes grow back quickly! If not, I think there is some stuff you can get from your doctor to make them grow (Claire Danes does the commercial for it).

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  28. I know you say it didn't hurt as much as you expected, but I'm still thinking -- OUCH! And, dang! But what a fabulous excuse for fake lashes? In a way, I envy you. LOL

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  29. I have managed this same trick with the eyelash curler. I even did it on the other eye a couple of months later...don't ask me how I could be so dumb. Anyway, the good news is they grew back!!
    xo
    Ashlyn

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  30. oh how i love anne shirley, the herione of my childhood!!

    so sorry for your lashes. maybe you will smile if you come look at my little baby Ever's lashes on our blog. i just posted a series of black and whites of her and all the comments are about her amazing eyelashes!

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  31. Ouch!! So sorry! I love both references ("my one true beauty" --Little Women & of course, Anne Shirley)

    Luckily it is not your one true beauty! You're a darling person, and a great writer! Love checking in on your blog. Good luck with the Lash Catastrophe of 2011. :)

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  32. As someone whose vanity revolves around her pretty lashed eyes I will take this post as a set of rules to follow in dealing with eye decoration.

    1. Don't use an eyelash curler whilst

    2. juggling an infant in a bouncy chair with my feet.

    I don't have anymore infants and I haven't used and eyelash curler since 1993 so I should be alright if I follow the rules.

    That really sucks. I do feel bad for you. Life will go on though, even if it is a tad less hairy.

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  33. I had eyelash extensions last year and when they came off they took off most of my eyelashes with them. I can't remember how long it took for them to grow back, but they did. And, dare I say, they're thicker and longer than they were before?!!!!! Which is exciting because I am rather vain about my eyes/eyelashes.

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  34. Eyelashes grow back, so I've heard.

    I feel your pain. I tried to cut my own bangs last month. Worst. Mistake. Of. My. Life.

    At least they make fake eye-lashes for you. I haven't found any fake bangs yet.

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  35. I am SO glad the Holbs did not pull a Marilla and tell you it was a punishment for being vain. And then not let you drink the Cherry cordial.

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  36. Once, I cut off all my eyelashes on my right eye while trying to trim my eyebrows. It was awful.

    Then, my sister accidentally shaved off her eyebrows with her husband's hair-cutting razor.

    It was after that when we decided that it is a universal rule that one should never be left alone with their eyebrows.

    Oh, and by the way, my eyelashes *did* grow back and in the meantime, I only got a few embarrassing comments on them. Crossing my fingers for you!

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  37. I am a new reader; but I wanted to tell you the very same thing happened to me once and it took about 6 months to grow back! The fake eyelashes definitely help though. Love your blog.

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  38. A truly fantastic post! Coincidentally, this very day I was attempting to convey the pure awesomeness of Anne Shirley to those who have yet to meet her. For a country that seems to produce a plethora of period films, they seem to have a shocking lack of love for 'Anne of Green Gables' in England. Perhaps I shall have to convert them, one by one. I can be a missionary for Anne! At least you, unlike Anne, have multiple cosmetic options available to you to conceal the cause of your despair (in all its depth) from the masses. I am assuming lashes grow back more quickly severely chopped hair? And, at least your hair isn't green.

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  39. Your "one true beauty"? You goof. Not even. This from the long-established fashion idol of the Rolling Hills Young Women? I should think not.

    Still, condolences. Fake eyelashes are a pain and a half.

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  40. Ouch! That sounds like it would hurt--bad! I have a new fear now. I really like the way your blog looks. The orange is a nice touch.

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  41. More importantly, your baby is ridiculously cute and chubby.

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  42. yep. i did this once. Thanksgiving 2006. i did a mid-turkey touch up in the bathroom and tripped and 2/3rds of my right eye came off. nobody noticed until i told them and then it was all anybody could see. they totally grew back. but i felt like a secret freak for a while.

    your baby is so rad it makes me kinda cry.
    xo

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  43. i'm sorry for your loss :| but you're still cute.

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  44. i loved how anne shirley and little women esque this post was.

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  45. once upon a time i used to heat my eyelash curler with my blow dryer and then curl my eyelashes. boy did they curl and boy did i love it. until i noticed i was missing some lashes. and by some i mean aloootttt. thank goodness they grew back. i refuse to ever heat my curler again.

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  46. Oh my, you reminded me of an accident of mine which only involved one hearty sneeze whilst curling the lashes of my right eye... Let me tell you, an eye with only half the lashes looks even more stupid than one without lashes at all! They grew back within a few weeks, so don't worry!

    You have a great kid! Love this chubby baby!

    Fine

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  47. You gotta love a girl who can slyly and genuinely quote Little Women and Anne of Green Gables in one post.

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  48. wow.

    this was a beautiful sentiment:
    "i am endlessly fascinated with that brief moment when something tragic has happened and you know it, and yet somehow it isn't really real in your mind yet, and so you are looking at it abstractly and not at all emotionally, until all of the sudden the reality of it overcomes you, and you realize that life as you know it is dead?"

    it immediately brought me back to the time i was standing in the kitchen when i was 13 and i saw my dad and grandma walking in from the car, they were both crying and i immediately realized my grandpa had died. the brief moment between seeing them and running into my bedroom hysterical crying is, like, totally the same moment you had when you ripped out your pretty little lashes. get a life.

    <3 sara

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  49. Mine never did. (Sorry. Just being honest.) When I was a small child, not yet having been told the value of lashes, I used to pull them out. Purposefully.

    I have rued that decision many a time in my adult life. Particularly when I attempt to flirtatiously bat my eyes. It's not effective.

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