while waiting for chinese delivery to arrive

there's a chinese place down the street that brandon has fallen head over chopsticks for.

any time we talk about having food delivered, we always know where the other person is going to want to order from, and we never want what we know the other person wants. as such, our conversations always go down something like this:

holbs: "what sounds good?"

me: "well . . . "

holbs, impatiently: "ok, just not shake shack again."

me, realizing what i really wanted this whole time was a cheeseburger: "ok then, not chinese either!"

holbs: "but--!"

sometimes i let him order chinese anyway, because when we order chinese and it arrives and he takes that first bite and he starts moaning and mmmm-ing and letting his eyes roll back into his head and saying how AMAZING it is, it's pretty much the cutest.

my brandon is all kinds of things, but most especially he is predictable about chinese food.

the other night it was cold and dreary out and we were in between grocery runs and all we had to eat was a dozen or so hard boiled eggs (another time). it was huck's bedtime and i was feeling particularly amenable, so chinese was ordered in exchange for a manly pair of arms pushing the huckster to sleep in his stroller (look, that's just how we roll these days).

while the brandon made the order i went to the bathroom and reacquainted myself with the person in the mirror with the horribly flat hair (hi person who is me, good to see you lately!) and then i sat on the couch and stared at my toes for a minute.

i looked up to see brandon performing some kind of interpretive dance routine for his enraptured audience. huck was squealing in excitement from his bed-on-wheels.

"i am practicing my jim carrey black swan!" he announced between arabesques.

then he stood very straight, put his arms down at his side and said quite somberly, "son, if you want to be a ballerina some day, you can."

what do you usually order when you get chinese?
the holbrooks need to spice up their delivery order.


  1. omg I am both a new reader AND (maybe) the first person to leave a comment on this post! I always, and I mean always, get Kung Pao Shrimp when I get Chinese. And if we're at P.F. Chang's, then I get Kung Pao Scallops which are, on the one hand, very delicious, but on the other hand, my addiction to Kung Pao is basically why we don't go get Chinese all that often anymore. Which is a little tragic. Now we get Thai, which I recommend with all my heart.

    My daughters love you, and now so do I. Carry on.

  2. I love your family. And, sure, you have no clue who I am and I only know the blog form of you, but...I think we should be friends.

    Also, I don't have a blog for the very reason that my husband would lovingly mock it, as well. You know what, though-- grumpy husbands are way more fun than super sappy illdowhateveryousaydear husbands.

  3. I'm so in love with HuckleBaby's Action Arms in that photo.

    I usually order vegetable chow mein. Or lo mein. Depends. I'm really edgy that way.

  4. Veggie lo mein for me.

    That has got to be the cutest picture ever!! :)

  5. Cashew chicken!

    And oh my goodness, this picture!!! Adorableness!

  6. i just close my eyes and order the first thing my finger touches, as long as it's not pork. and i get crab wontons every. single. time. you have to keep one thing boring.

    also, using capital letters is overrated. i gave up on them a long time ago.

  7. veggie lo mein and crab rangoons!!

    and by the by, those little baby trousers are to die for!

  8. i was going to ask you what you get for chinese take out! do tell!

  9. I love the suspenders, and I'm afraid I'm with the Holbseditor on capitalization. Grammar is my friend.

    By the way, I read about you in the salon article and I've been addicted reading all your posts since. I'm back to June. You crack me up!

  10. Love Sara's suggestion for ordering (the whole "keep the eyes closed and point" thing). I'd go with that! And I love the image of the Holbs doing a little ballet in the apartment. Next time, please video it for our personal enjoyment!

  11. I love Chinese food, but Chinese food doesn't love me. TMI? Oops. I really enjoy the tiny spicy chicken, sometimes called General chicken. Orange chicken's dandelicious as well.

    Why, yes I AM sometimes a glutton for punishment.

  12. When I get Chinese food, I just get chow mein noodles and orange chicken. Very boring of me. And I love your Huck. He is the cutest thing.

  13. We always get tip ban chicken or beef, but that's a dish that I think is exclusive to our restaurant. It's this super yummy barbecue-ish dish, and is a good compromise for hubs and I, since I love spicy with lotsa veg and he's a bit less adventurous. But I am a Chinese-addict and will eat almost anything on the menu! Whenever we get takeout I always beg for Chinese, but the 'good' Chinese in our town is a lil bit exy.

    Also loving the hat!- too cute!

  14. i love the photographs on your site. your header is too awesome :D

  15. That onesie is all shades of awesome. My bundle of joy needs one of those. My husband likes the Chinese buffet, so I am not accustomed to roll your eyes back in your head Chinese food. I have no help for you here.

  16. HA! Huck cracked me up today. I'm with The Holbscritic on the caps. (Sorry! :-) And I avoid Chinese at all costs, unless Jeremy's willing to bargain for it. ;-)

  17. omg that Jim Carrey sketch was HILARIOUS

  18. I agree with the Holbs. Will you PLEASE start using capital letters again?

  19. I'm sure your Chinese take-out place is better than our Chinese take-out place. But my husbo loves his americanized orange chicken. One day he'll willingly say yes to my Indian.

  20. Hi! New reader here, and girl you are hilarious!! And anything Chinese take-out sounds great to me :))

  21. I'm with Holbszechuan--always Chinese. Always.

    Cheng du chicken, if they have it. Hot and sour soup if it's cold or I have a cold. Singapore street noodles. ANYTHING, I WILL EAT ANY CHINESE. You guys live in one of the most awesome places on earth for Chinese. I am jealous--situation normal.

  22. what a cute baby!

    our chinese food options suck, but the thai food is plentiful and delish!

    i'm with you on the caps. why?! i love the lowercase trend in blogging.

  23. 1. capital letters are for the birds. and for formal essay writing.
    2. there is a chinese food place down the street and when i call they know my voice. and know i'm going to order at least one order of egg rolls. and sweet and sour chicken. so...yeah. haha.

    xo, em

  24. I love fried rice: vegetable, chicken, pork, it doesn't matter. I almost always order almond chicken and spring rolls (if my stomach will let me consume all that!).

  25. I find it really hard to take pictures of my baby without her arms becoming a blur too!!! Them things are always on the move ;o)

  26. i rarely use capitals either, not really out of laziness but because it seems more 'friendly' (plus my company got a hotshot to do some research, and apparently little letters are easier for more people to read, so i also like think it makes my blog more accessible...).


  27. pot stickers.
    i always eat more than my fair share.
    and i don't mean more than i'm hungry for.
    i mean i steal or beg at least one of sean's alloted 3 to be a 4th for me.
    they always come in 6.
    i also enjoy a good beef and broccoli.
    and i have the same diaper changing mat.
    but mine is brown with a white twisty pattern.
    it is a definite must have.

  28. Nat! Seriously, my fiance and I have that exact conversation once a week! I want cheeseburgers always and unconditionally. The fiance wants Chinese food. I'm glad to hear you have the same take-out dilemmas that I suffer through.

  29. If it's a restaurant that borders more on Cantonese style food, then you MUST try the X.O. sauce chow fun with either beef or shrimp. I die for that with hot chili pepper paste.

    Can I borrow Hucklebaby for a weekend? You wouldn't mind flying to LA...right? I'm in the midst of a serious baby craving crisis and need to play with a squishy baby!

  30. hahaha to this post!!

    We usually order sesame tofu (the spouse) and tofu delight (me!) (its tofu, broccoli, edamame, carrots, baby corn, etc)

    When I was pregnant with my last, I craved this all.the.time.- so I would call and they would answer the phone with- Ok we know your order- see you in 10 minutes! soooo funny!

  31. First things first.. I would rather eat that baby's cheeks than eat Chinese.. and secondly, I don't ever order what I really want. Idaho ruined that for me. I had THE BEST lemon chicken EVER there, and it ruined it for me forever. SO I am boring, and order orange chicken or chicken lo mein. Then I eat all the fried rice and egg rolls and the wantons instead of my entree.
    You are lucky to have delivery there. Here, we have "take out" and what sucks even more is that they are always closed on Monday! What, does FHE go ALL DAY now? Sheesh.
    (Love your blog by way of information.)

  32. Since you brought it up... I've been meaning to ask. What did you do to make the capital letters mad and go away? It's sometimes hard to read without them. You wrote "suv" one time. I thought: What's a suv? I read it a couple of times before I realized it's SUV. Oh!

    Whatever. It's your blog. Make yourself happy. Capitals or no capitals. It won't cause me to stop reading--no matter how jerky the reading has to be.

  33. Vege & Egg Fried Rice
    Salt & Pepper Tofu


  34. Hot Braised Fish. mmmmmm OR--.... no, that's it. It's so good :)

  35. Hilarious post! Totally love it.
    Huck is too darling not to want to pinch the cheeks!

    I can't imagine holbs doing such a fancy dance.

    It's OK if you don't capitalize your sentences.
    I won't judge.
    Hey, you're busy!

  36. Love that outfit, hehe.

    Egg drop soup, crab rangoon, and one or two of the following: shrimp fried rice, shrimp lo mein, house lo mein, General TSO chicken, sesame chicken, boneless chicken, orange chicken, some-other-kind-of-specialty chicken that the particular restaurant may have.

  37. new reader. like the blog. get the whole shift key thing, it does not come naturally. loved the chinese post, nearly peed with laughter.

  38. BAhahaha! Jim Carrey's black swan. Huh-larious.


Comments are moderated because mama ain't no fool.