Finding The Space

I am huge. There is not enough room for me in this tiny apartment! I turn around and I am smacking into walls. I try to squeeze through doorways but I suspect these doorways have shrunk!

I am big, and I make the trek from the bed to the bathroom six times a night, at least. Not because I have to, but because I want to, to break up the monotony of laying in bed all night unable to sleep. I do so enjoy the first three times I roll s-l-o-w-l-y from my left side to my right, bringing my pillow groupies with me for propping purposes, because at least it's interesting. But soon it starts to get old, so I start to think up excuses to use the bathroom, and sometimes a good idea comes to me halfway there and I stop to check my email, or eat a mini Snickers, or see if any of my neighbor's lights are on and I can catch them naked.

I discovered this morning with great alarm that it only takes me seven steps to get from one end of my apartment to the other.

Where in five-to-seven steps does one stash a baby?

I still can't believe there is a completely cooked person going on in here. A whole person! I can't get over this. How is he fitting in there? Things must be getting awfully cramped for him these days too.

We are full term now and on the one hand, I would very much like to not be pregnant anymore. I have wanted to be pregnant for so many years that it is quite disturbing to suddenly think of tampons with fondness.

We only have one drawer in our kitchen. I think about this sometimes because it's ridiculous. It's not even a drawer, really, it is a mini drawer. Who can get by on just one mini drawer for utensils? Me, I can do it. But it is barbaric! One drawer for utensils? Definitely barbaric. Also kind of thrilling, my sharp steak knives mingling coyly with my sweet and nice cereal spoons. It's an adventure every time I need a fork. Don't get stabbed!

One time Brandon went for a fork and shouted, "This drawer makes me sick!"


Lately the conversations I have around town go like this: Congratulations! When are you due? What are you having? Do you have a name picked out? How are you feeling? Do you have a stroller?

I do not have a stroller.

I am looking about the apartment (it is probably 400 square feet, maybe) and not only do we not really have the budget for a stroller, we don't even have room for a stroller. So I've been telling myself I don't need a stroller, and that really cool girls like me are better off without a stroller. Except that, I super need a stroller. I need a stroller.

And so today, we bought a stroller.

So, actually, yes, I do have a stroller.

And it's just like I thought. There's really no room for a stroller up in here. It's just, right there. You can see it from everywhere.

Hi, stroller!

But it's like this. I came home from grocery shopping in the rain yesterday toting two grocery sacks, a paper bag from the hardware store, my purse, the keys to my apartment, my cell phone, the mail, and a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper (necessity), and the second I opened the door and the dogs rushed up to say hello to me I thought to myself, "How am I carrying a baby in this scenario? And, where am I putting him once I get inside?" (Quick glance about the floor, eyeing the couch, watching the dogs scurry excitedly from one wall to the next), and then I thought to myself, OH BOTHER, I DO NEED A STROLLER.

So, we have a stroller. We picked it up on 95th and Amsterdam, it works from infancy through 50 pounds, and it is going to be our swing/bouncy seat/grocery cart/SUV/high chair/place for snacks/Forever 21 shopping bag holder/baby storage system.

And, okay then. The baby can come now.

Because now I have somewhere to put him.


  1. Oh. My. We're gonna need pics of the stroller taking up precious space in that tiny apartment of yours! =)

    LOVE the belly!

  2. Aww, you are too cute, Mrs. Natalie! Logistics are always tricky, but you can do it! : ) Congrats on the stroller/grocery cart system, also.

    Oh! And your package will be on its way Saturday because I did not make it to the PO yesterday. Surprise! : )

  3. Forget a stroller. Get a Moby wrap. It's a gigantically long piece of material in which your strap your baby to yourself. It's amazing. Need space for it? Roll it up in a ball and stuff it in a shoe, get a pretty color and throw it over your couch for a fancy throw....or...not.

  4. Julie, I have a Moby! It is going to come in very handy when I'm trekking with Huck on the subway.

    And Carrie, you're a doll :). Excited to see what comes!

  5. Lol great post,

    loved the part with the "conversation" with the student

  6. i so freaking beyond love you.

  7. Wow, WOW what a HUGE step - but you do know you its fashionable to WEAR your wee baba these days? Two words - Baby sling (now I hear you cursing me for telling you this AFTER you've bought a space-hogging stroller)

    *runs and hides*

    You look AWESOME!!! Your baby bump is as beautiful as you are.

  8. Love this post.

    I keep nervously watching my reader thinking... Is today it? Where is Nat? Hmmm. I wonder. Make sure you get Holbs to hit go on a He's HERE post for us all, won't you.

  9. I had 4 children living in Seoul and Istanbul, neither stroller-friendly cities. I swear by my sling as the only way to get around. And now, 16 years later, it hangs thread-bare and waiting in my closet for the grandchildren I'm sure those 4 little babies will produce for me!

    God bless, Natalie. In the fullness of time little Huck will be delivered and we will all be cheering, praying, and celebrating with you!

  10. You will look back at all of it with the most fondness of fond you can muster.

  11. " is quite disturbing to suddenly think of tampons with fondness." This made me laugh... as did so many other portions of this post. But I am happy to see the happy ending with a multi-use stroller. You are so creative, though, you will find a way to make it all work. :)

  12. I hope you have him on Sunday! 10/10/10 would be the best birthday ever (and it's MY birthday too!) Congrats Natalie! I wish I could have met him, I think he would have loved Moscow :)

  13. Daft Scots and Darlene, I know I know! I have my Moby wrap and I'm ready to wear this kid all up and down this city. It's just, where do I put him when I get home? I don't have room for a swing or bouncy seat or playpen or even a stretch of soft floor, so if I'm going to get something for him it has to be multi-multi-multi purpose. The stroller is basically his sofa. And my grocery cart.

  14. Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like you are living the New York version of my New Jersey life. Your bathroom is green? Mine is nearly identical and pink. Your apartment is 400 square feet and full of pets? Two cats and a rabbit. Bam. The only difference is that I'm not pregnant and am, in fact, the lawyerly one. It really is rather eerie some days reading your blog, but in a totally good way.

  15. Dear Nat,

    I stalk your blog. I am not a creeper though, and I think you are a wit, so I hope it's OK.

    I have an idea for you:

    Baby goes on top (some padding and, wha-la!) or hangs from the side (you could probably rig a nice little pocket slot for him by tying some fabric to the dish towel holder, almost like a swing! You could even use spandex for a bouncy swing). It solves your single utensil drawer, AND solves the question of "where in the world do we put the diaper changing stuff?"
    Eh? Eh?

    Really though, congrats and how incredibly exciting!

    And with or without the rolling cabinet I recommend the baby positioner, they are awesome.

  16. Ok...I live in the country...nowhere near a big city...but I completely understand!!!

    Our house is a strapping 420 square feet. You're not alone!

    We fit me, the man, one large breed dog, one cat, and a baby into it!

    Last month, we had an additional man too...that was rough!

    But anyways, you can do it! I promise! You find that your living room can become a bedroom if needed and your bedroom can become a giant walk in closet. Then, of course, the kitchen becomes part changing area as well as food area and you worry about contamination...but alas, it works! It really does!

    Yes, the stroller gets in the way...and we really don't use ours too much...but its there..and you're there...

    And it works...I promise!

  17. Oh and the bed becomes the play area! We even put the play mat with all it's doo-dads on the bed instead of the floor..there's just not room!

  18. We visited your big bad NYC with five month old twins and my hubs was stuck in the Westin for a week while I attended a conference. He made a baby jail on one of the beds. He took various barriers (rolled up towels and sheets mostly and pillows) and made a big square so they could roll but not roll off. Not recommended for a newborn because of suffocation dangers but once they can roll and lift their heads, baby jail on a bed works quite nicely. Turn on some Baby Einstein and you can practically take a nap.

  19. At least it will be a breeze to clean up, all 5-7 steps of house you have. And in order for the baby to come, you must serve the eviction notice- else how will he know it's time?

  20. Seriously, that second paragraph killed me. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Remind me, why are we trying for a third pregnancy? Oh yeah, because we'll end up with a child.

    I so can't wait for Huck to be born!!! Please make The Holbsblogger post ASAP afterwards!

  21. okay so jillian jolley introduced me to your blog and this post is great. i'm currently 14 weeks along and we also live in the tiniest of spaces and are in the poorest stage we've ever been. and now you give me hope. i guess all we need is a stroller :)

  22. ok. I love your blog. I just found it the other day. From the article in Mormon Times. I love your style and wit. It's Fabulous. BTW, my husband has blonde/red hair like yours. They could be twins! I love it! Off to do laundry- Megan

  23. Hi Stroller! You make me laugh. And yes, if you are reading this comment after my last one, it is obvious that I am blog stalking you, reading your old posts and pretending that we are long time friends, you being the much cooler, more mature one that lives in New York City that I pretend to know and be besties with.


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