8.02.2011

THE MEG RYAN THEORY

i spend a disproportionate amount of time watching meg ryan movies. 

well, you know that, but let's keep going.

i like when harry met sally when i am feeling cerebral, i like you've got mail when i am feeling emotional, and i like sleepless in seattle on the off day when i really need to recite the "shriveled little legs" scene.  

also, french kiss is really good for a day when you need a hit of kevin kline and/or lactose intoleraaaaaaaaaaance!

the other night i was laying in bed letting all my thoughts dance across my eyelids when i had a rather brilliant idea. it was so brilliant i sat up in bed right away to type it out (rather poorly) on my phone, lest the idea get away from me. the glaring light from the screen blinded me and made my eyes ache.

"there is one of us in all of the movies" is what it said when i read it the next morning.

(i'm pretty articulate in the wee hours of the morning.)

(proof: it is only 12:22 am and i just had to consult a thesaurus to come up with the word 'articulate.')

the point is, i am the frank.

i am not the kathleen (i am sorry to say), and i am not the annie, either. i'm not even the sally! although if i had to pick a meg i am most likely the sally.

but no, no, i am the frank. that nut in the observer.

shall we review?

1. i get obsessed with random things.
antlers? cake plates? electric typewriters? the gentle, soothing lullaby of a piece of machinery so perfect...
2. i concoct bizarre theories about things of very little significance.
the whole point behind a vcr, for example. 

and who ever in this world needs to have it be a house rule that they are not allowed to make complicated metaphors when trying to prove a point but a frank? i ask you this in all sincerity!

really, it's quite an honor to be the frank. i am proud to be the frank! i mean, it is certainly better than being the walter for crying out loud but i do not wish to be rude. 

and yet . . . 

in the end, frank gets dumped. don't think that's not lost on me. frank gets dumped, and while we're on the subject, kathleen never fully appreciates him. why is that? why doesn't kathleen love him? i am always wondering this. frank does such a wonderful job being that horn all forlorn! what is he missing here??

yes, i am the frank, and yes, i married the joe.
so there you have it.
(except, i love computer solitaire.)

all of this to say, the other day i bought some vintage 1950s men's frames at the brooklyn flea market. 



they are terribly franky.
(three cheers for finally having vision coverage after a zillion years of grad school!)

and then, we ate milkshakes.



we totally wished you were there with us.

of the meg canon, who would you say you are?
(huck is the jonah. duh.)

48 comments :

  1. this post is just so good. all around. thank you for giving me something stimulatingly sweet to sink my teeth into. you are the frank!

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  2. Kathleen- for her love and obsession with daisies. (I spent years trying to find the sheets she had on her bed.)
    But mostly I'm Sally- getting too old to be single, and a little in love with my guy friends.

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    1. If you're still looking, I'm pretty sure Kathleen's bedding was by Yves De Lorme.

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  3. And now I know what will keep me up all night, wondering.
    I'm kind of thinking I may be the Kate. Slightly neurotic, stupidly spontaneous, wants to kiss Kevin Kline when he's scruffy ...

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  4. It is a shame we don't live closer because I think we could be friends. I'd like to be Birdy, because I am an old soul and imagine I would do stupid things in foreign countries.

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  5. natalie you are awesome.

    have you seen kate and leopold by the way? i love meg ryan also :)

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  6. I am Maggie. I had a ridiculous obsession withe Mr. Cage when that movie came out. Maybe it's the doctor character, but by golly I love how involved she gets with her patients. Nurse Thais gets too darn involved!

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  7. French Kiss is my absolute favorite Meg Ryan movie, hands down. I don't think I'm like any of the characters from her movies, but I love 'em all. With that said...what the hell did she do to her FACE! Ugh, kills me.

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  8. I wish I could say I was the Annie or even the Rita (PTAK). . . but I think maybe the Kathleen has it? This deserves way more thought. Perhaps in the wee hours of tomorrow's morning?

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  9. I am absolutely the Annie: willing to slightly online-stalk the boy I've never met but have heard is articulate and kind, talk at the radio when I'm alone in the car, and recite lines to old movies that I have seen "too many times!"

    Also, saying "Huck is the Jonah, duh!" made me chuckle. GREAT post...and excellent closing line!

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  10. Oh man, I feel like all of life can be figured out through movies. Meg Ryan movies, yes, and Brat Pack ones too. At least, the Brat Pack ones made everything so much clearer to me when I was a teenager (even though they had been released much earlier) but if I had to pick a Meg Ryan, I think I'm a Kathleen. Awkward, prideful, sticking kleenex everywhere to hide them... sounds about right.

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  11. Always wondered- you've never mentioned Kate and Leopold whenever you talk about Meg movies- what's your take on it?

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  12. most days, kathleen kelly. maybe i'm like her, or maybe i just with i were. :)

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  13. Heehee! You make me wish I had the Meg Ryan movies and characters memorized so I could follow along. :-)

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  14. Just as long as you're not a 22-year-old cocktail waitress named Kimberly or Janice. Frankly, I think I'm Christina, because I'm poor, I can't find find even a part-time job, all I did was write papers, I get carried away in imagining worst case scenarios, and I love good-natured gossip.

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  15. This may be my favorite blog post I've ever read. And now I'm going to spend far too much time thinking about who I am. My instinct tells me I'm Annie. For one, I'm a journalist. Makes sense. But I am not ashamed to admit that I do my share of online stalking. I sing/talk to the radio when I'm alone (or not). I have my movies that I can quote verbatim, (ironically they are mostly Meg Ryan movies). And let's face it. I don't want to be in love, I want to be in love in a movie...

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  16. okay.
    1) I love this post and your obsession with You've Got Mail and Meg
    2) I *JUST* did the "shriveled legs" scene for someone the other day. they looked at me like I was crazy but I didnt care.
    3) what about "Addicted to Love?" or "Prelude to a Kiss?"
    4) Im totally Kathleen Kelly!
    5) Frank ends up (it's insinuated) with the tv show host who appreciates him in all his glory.

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  17. i'm anastasia.
    as in, the russian romanov grand duchess.
    forgot about that one, didn't you?
    actually, i'm not, but i do love eastern europe and the music from that movie is just splendid.

    i'm probably kathleen kelly. because i want to be, that's all.

    and i want to echo another commenter, what DID she do to her face? shame, really.

    and lastly, i must un-echo another commenter because in all fairness, you only tried the top knot *once* and your glasses are not chunky.

    bye!

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  18. I would be the Carole because I'm Southern and generally loud. But the Lydia was my all time favorite, because of those slick moves with the Cowboy on the dance floor.

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  19. Yeah, I'd be Annie. I sing along with and talk to the radio (snarkily, DUH), I love romantic movies and...yeah.

    Wow, I'm really putting oomph into this, huh? (In my defence, I'm veeeery sleepy and about to hit the sack!)

    If I weren't sleepy, I'd totally watch Sleepless in Seattle for, like, the ten billionth time. Also, even though Bill Pullman is kinda lame as Walter, he's (dare I say it) kinda hot in While You Were Sleeping.

    And "OMG, I know!" to all of you who've mentioned her face. What is WRONG with people? She was so pretty!

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  20. I am Annie. Because "it was...magic".
    I'm an expert stalker (online of course).
    I talk to the radio.
    And I always wanted to be in love in a movie (until I met my fiance and then I realized it was nothing like falling in love in a movie, but it was perfect for me,)

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  21. I want to say Kathleen, but is that a cop out? Do I just want to be Kathleen? It was heartbreaking to me, a Gone with the Wind obsessed Georgia girl when I realized I was not Scarlett (except for the temper), but instead Melanie. Oh tragedy! I am, however, Anne Shirley through & through :).

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  22. After much thought and consideration...I am Sally. I'm a little bit quirky, I have a difficult time seeing what's right in front of me, and my boyfriend and I had the "men and women can't reallly be friends" talk before we started dating. And I order food complicatedly :)

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  23. Did you ever see Joe Versus the Volcano? It's a classic Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks. But still, You've Got Mail is my all time fav movie.

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  24. this deserves far more thought that i have at the current moment..i'd like to say kathleen, because i met my husband over email and i love books. i would love to own a bookstore...but i do get obsessed with weird things as well.

    right now it's owls. i have bought about 80 owl necklaces off ebay and a ring. i'm obsessed with finding the perfect owl canister...you know one of those vintagey ones.

    i guess if i had to choose i'd say kathleen...with a splash of frank.

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  25. But I thought Frank was the one who did the dumping; I'm not wrong, am I? I mean, Kathleen was going to get around to dumping him, but he totally beat her to the punch, because he had kinda fallen "for that woman on TV." Right? (Yeah, I've probably seen YGM as many times as you have.) I personally love Frank, and his singing "the horn...the horn...sounds so forlorn" is one of my favorite parts of the entire movie. (I'm willing to wager you've got much better pitch than Frank! :)

    Okay, now don't judge too harshly, but I've never actually seen When Harry Met Sally. Travesty and a half, right?! I've always meant to, but have never quite gotten around to it; I've heard such delightful things about it, yet none of my friends seem to own a copy.

    So. Now that you know I'm handicapped in that way, I've got fewer characters to choose from.

    I'd say I'm an Annie; mostly practical, but kind of a closeted dreamer, still looking for the real Mr. Wonderful (because although Walter is a good man, he's just not right for Annie!), and I'd be willing to move across the entire damn country to find him; once we meet, we'll just...know.

    I also thought of a couple other Meg Ryan movies you didn't mention: Joe Versus the Volcano (one of my personal favorites) and Kate and Leopold (can't stand that one, despite the hottest man on earth portraying the hero.)

    This was a fun post, sorry for rambling...

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  26. I haven't seen Sleepless in Seattle, so I don't really remember that character. I'd say I'm a less-nice Kathleen. Obsessed with books, in love with cardigans, and a mind that always goes blank when zingers (or any other words for that matter) are needed and then agnonizes afterwards when the words actually come to me. Oh, and I have internet friends that I've never met in real life but would love to. But let's face, i'm not really as sweet as she is.

    I think I need to have a Meg Ryan marathon very, very soon.

    North Meets South

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  27. i love this post! I won't lie, my dream in life is to own a children's bookstore in a big city, like Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail! Do those even really exist anymore? I like to think that they do. I watch You've Got Mail when I am feeling nostalgic and wish that it was fall. That happens alot when you live in Florida and miss the seasons. :( Do you ever do that? Watch movies for the feeling or the season? I would probably be Kathleen Kelly, I am terrible at being sick, and am way too reserved to fake a sex scene in a restaurant like Sally!

    PS - I also love "The Wonder Boys" for a winter movie, so good.

    Shannon
    www.11thandshannon.com

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  28. But what about Prelude to a Kiss?! I wish Meg still did awesome movies.

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  29. Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks...
    'nuf said.
    I miss the old Meg though :(
    Definitely Kathleen...definitely.

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  30. Andrea and Kara, your comment made me laugh, I thought the same thing!!!
    Nat, You are beautiful! I love your new glasses, but keep your beautiful brown hair the way it is! :)

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  31. I LOVE this blog and I LOVE this post. My obession with When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail has been validated! Thank you baby! I so thought I was Kathleen Kelley in college. Who was I kidding? BTW, about to have a baby in Oct, can't wait to tote my little one around out here in LA. You make motherhood look awesome!

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  32. I'm definitely Birdie from You've Got Mail. Only fifty years younger. Hehe.

    You know, the confident, steady friend who has been around forever and you don't know she's traveled the world, has a great love story and is totally loaded (Still working on that part) until you need to know.

    ;)

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  33. Nice little mohawk Huck's got goin' on there. And the glasses are too cool...along the vein of a superhero diguise, don't you think?

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  34. Oh, you kill me. I am most definitely a Kathleen, cardigans, favorite flower (daisies, duh!), lack of comebacks, sinus problems, and book-nerd ways included. But I also feel like maybe I am half Frank, too? I love a good typewriter and obsess over random things. Could this combo work? P.S. I think you three are the cutest little family EVER. Huck is a dream come true.

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  35. i'm sally. always will be. sad thing, my husband HATES when Harry met Sally, so i have to watch it when he's not around. i know, he's crazy.

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  36. I'm the Annie. This post makes me smile. :)

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  37. Oh my God I laughed out loud at the "shriveled little legs," part! My sisters and I totally would recite that part too, that's too funny! Love your humor.

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  38. I think I'm Kathleen in the "I want to own a bookstore!" sense (and also a part of my heart is totally in love with Tom Hanks. He's my "mature guy" crush!). But I am mostly a Sally :-)

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  39. Kathleen Kelly all the way! haha :)

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  40. I cut my hair to look just like Kathleen Kelly in high school - oh my.

    My theory about Frank is that they never had the spark -- and they were the example of being in a relationship and you don't know what is missing but something is -- and in the end your just great friends. I think they both appreciated each other but knew they weren't each other's great love.

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  41. I've just been introduced to your blog (took me long enough, right?), and this is the second post I've read and it is brilliant. (My first: you ripping your eyelashes out, which has always been one of my greatest fears.)

    Can I please be Kathleen Kelly's mother who was "enchanting"?

    Frank gets quoted a lot around here--Thank yours, ladies and gentlemen.

    Look forward to following your blog!

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  42. this is probably the best blog post i've ever read! you have mentioned every single movie that i adore . what is it about old Meg Ryan movies?? they are just so...magical. my favorite is When Harry Met Sally though I can't decide which Meg I am. will probably spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure that out...

    i don't think i could love your blog any more than i do...!

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  43. Can I just say that I live vicariously through the movie "You've Got Mail"?! Loved this post. :)

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  44. I'm probably Patricia, but I want to be Birdie when I grow up. ;)

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  45. Why is it that I stop whatever it is that I am doing, when a Meg Ryan movie comes on television?

    I feel I can relate to Kathleen Kelly the best. I read Pride and Prejudice at least once a year and my mom who has passed, looked very much like Birdie. However, I do love the large bag Eve carries in Hanging Up and the short, sassy haircut Kate had in French Kiss.

    I spent years trying to acquire certain things that Meg wore in her movies, but never quite found the exact items. Oh, they were similar, but not exact.

    I am definitely sure about one thing, Meg would be my BFF, if we ever meant. Thanks for the post.

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