11.06.2009

Growth


I am feeling especially fertile today.

I am also feeling super cluttered. My soul is ripe and delicious and my kitchen is a disaster area. Last night I baked four dozen cupcakes and two dozen sugar cookies in a whirlwind of flour for the young women in my ward and their parents. I slaved over those cupcakes, decorated them to within an inch of their lives and propped them lovingly on my nicest cake plate. As the evening ticked closer I threw together some sugar cookies as an afterthought and slapped some frosting on them all pell-mell and showed up at the door of the church crusty with icing with just seconds to spare. The refreshments table was greeted with oohs and aahhs but the proof was in the pudding as they say, and for all those compliments what did they eat? Not the cupcakes, I noticed bitterly as I stacked them all together on a paper plate afterwards and threw them away, their glossy sugar-dipped tops staring at me forlornly from the trash bin. No, they ate those ugly, good for nothing sugar cookies. Damn those sugar cookies!

It caused me to reflect as the night grew late and the dishes remained caked in frosting in the sink on the nature of all of these well-laid plans. Isn't it funny how the afterthoughts sometimes become the best of thoughts? Every time without fail, right? Afterthoughts have got to be some kind of direct communication from God, is how I figure.

I spent the better part of my day staring at online shopping carts filled with my soul's deepest desires. The Internet is on sale right now! But I just couldn't commit because I am feeling adrift with myself. November brought with it a flurry of questions and I just cannot put a finger on myself! Come on, November! And to think we used to be such friends . . .

And anyway, how about this?


But will somebody just buy me these already and get it over with? Gosh.

33 comments :

  1. How you torment that sweet puppy so! Ah well, he seems to enjoy it...

    Another wonderfully worded post. Perhaps a novel is in your (our) future? Since you're feeling all fertile and stuff...

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  2. Haha I LOVE your pups, they are so different! Barnaby in particular tugs at my heart strings.

    Love your post, as usual. I agree with the "do your best thinking at night" idea, I'm that way too.

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  3. cuteeeeeeeeeeeee

    anyway
    visit mine
    just for fun..

    http://www.booming2day.blogspot.com/

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  4. Another great post but I have come to realize that the Pan and I could never be friends. He is way too high strung for me and I am way too sedentary for his liking. We can't be loved by everyone I suppose.

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  5. I don't think I've ever felt "fertile".

    You are such a teaser with your celery stick and your wooly doggie. Love the boots with the fur, btw...

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  6. Your dogs are absolutely adorable!

    I'm sorry those silly ladies didn't eat your cupcakes. :(

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  7. Your writing is absolutely positively the most refreshing and poignant that I've come across on this blogosphere! Thank you for your thought-provoking posts. Although if you ever have left over baked goods you send them this way! Damn sugar cookies...too funny!

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  8. I'm sorry to say that, though I felt extremely tempted as you described the cupcakes, when you got to the part about making the sugar cookies, I thought, "oooh, sugar cookies!" Maybe everyone is just in a sugar cookie mood right now, this being right before the holidays and all...

    I often find myself feeling fertile, but rarely do I find myself uncluttered and organized enough to make the most of it. Ah, well...

    http://excerpts-kristin.blogspot.com/

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  9. I would have eaten one of your cupcakes! Or three! hehe :P

    The boots? Those are bangin'! Love them!

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  10. When I am in a sweets mood, that means two things:

    1.) I am rebelling against dieting (okay, so I do it all the time).

    2.) I am PMSing. And I always know it is PMS cause zits are close by.

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  11. Love the boots! Your dogs are adorable. Sorry to hear about the cupcakes. I would have eaten one if I had been there ~ I'm not a big sugar cookie person tho. :)

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  12. i had a dog, pete ... pete the wheat, as in wheaten terrier, as in sweet pete. he was good at waiting and being way too cute, too ... like your pete (and barney). it's all about dogs with people names, don't you think? my daughter wanted to call pete muffin. my son wanted marshmallow. It wouldn't have been the same ...

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  13. How I relate to you with the cupcakes! Yes and the pairing with cookies turn out to be a mistake. No one wants to eat a cupcake if cookies are in sight! I guess they really don't want to lick their fingers but that is the best part...Your two puppies...I do the same thing...wait...wait..take it!
    Fertile minds must be nurtured...follow your heart...it will blossom into the part of you anxious to be born!

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  14. So how come I can't upload 2-minute videos to MY blog?!? What's your secret, Natalie? I need to know. My blog balks whenever I try uploading ANYTHING over a minute. Pout.

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  15. Nat! How awesome! I had EXACTLY the same experience last night!I RACED home from work and put together my AWESOME Sweet Chili for a RS dinner, with dreams of hearing everyone ask me for the recipe. I then slapped together a wicked little recipe I made up in the blink of an eye for cornbread: 1 can creamed corn, 3 eggs, 3 little Jiffy Cornbread mixes, 400^ for 25ish. . . Do you think I came home with an empty crockpot? Not likely! As I loaded up the car with the Chili, I thought, what a wasted effort! The cornbread went over well, though. Thanks for sharing my agony. >SIGH< But how CUTE that your pups eat celery! And I totally "Get" what you mean about Peter being on the high end of smarts with McDuff being, well, lower than average in comparison. Sweet dogs! Well, hope the sun keeps shining for you. I feel it's such an awesome gift to have a November week like this! Minus our Christmas tree hunt in the woods, and a cozy night next to the fireplace, I don't really relish the dark and cold so much. . .

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  16. There is certainly something about the crisp air of Fall that just begs for reinvention! My roots are reaching right now, too...and my mind is a constant loom of ideas, wonders, etc. I baked oatmeal cookies last night just because the night felt like it needed oatmeal cookies. I hear yah all the way over here...Aloha!

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  17. hahhaah your video made my day today :) it was really cute!!! peter is soooooooo adorable!! "sit sit"and he sits but it impatient to eat lol

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  18. I love the reminder that we are not in control and worrying about what will come isn't going to do a darn thing. Today I played with my sweet babies outside and searched for lady bugs until they (the kids, not the lady bugs) started rubbing their eyes. Now, isn't that nicer than worrying? I bet you would agree.

    http://cristinderek.blogspot.com/

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  19. I'd have eaten those cupcakes, I'm not a sugar cookie kind of person. I definitely think best a night - my brain is always thinking up stories or wondering about the day that it takes me a long time to get to sleep. And I think having my cats sat on my lap is really soothing XD And your dogs are just so adorable :)

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  20. Ugh, I've had that experience too! I through a birthday party for my son and invited the ENTIRE family! They were to come at dinner time (about 20 of them) and I wanted something tasty for the adults other than boring old pizza. I spent the day making the perfect spaghetti sauce. I seasoned it to perfection. My plan was to serve it over rigatoni noodles (my personal fav.) My after thought was to whip up my taco dip. I don't really need to explain the rest....
    I love your doggies and next time I think you should post a pic of your cupcakes too. That way we get to enjoy them and they will last forever! xo

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  21. April - I have to admit, that Barnaby MacDuff has grown on me lately. Something about those sad eyes.

    John - Peter Pan? Too high strung? Only when celery is involved. You should see him let me hold him like a baby and rock him to sleep. Only, how boring!

    W8tress - You are too sweet!

    C&A and Bliss - Right??

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  22. I love the boots in green :)

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  23. Perhaps if you turn your attention to other things, you will end up getting what you wish for most...

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  24. Fall always makes me restless. Maybe because I subconsciously know the snow is coming soon to engulf me and I won't be able to just up and go do things I want to without thorough and careful planning. I usually plan things anyway, but I just don't like the feeling of having to.

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  25. You have the cutest dogs ever!!! Of course this may just be withdrawal from my puppy speaking. And btw, I could totally go for some cupcakes right about now :)

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  26. Winter is coming and that is the best time for creativity...when the world around is bare and cold, there's no better time to fill in the space by taking out the ideas in our heads for a dance. I always think its my Norwegian heritage, when winter was the time for quilting and crafting. They knew.

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  27. Awww. You have the cutest puppies in existence. :)

    As for your thoughts on life...it's lovely that you have the faith to wait for whatever is to come. I sincerely hope that it's a good thing you have coming to you.

    I just found your blog today, and I'm loving it so far. :)

    -Carrie from [carrotspeak.]

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  28. I love your boys! they are so cute. I have two dogs of my own and they are similar to yours as in they are not similar to each other at all!

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  29. Now is Peter Pan the dumb dog? He sure is cute. So is Barnaby MacDuff; how can you not love a dog with such a Scottish-sounding name? -I've never seen a dog get so excited over a piece of CELERY, of all things...

    As you are feeling more discombobulated and whatnot with the new month, I myself am feeling more energized. I can hardly contain my ecstasy over the TWO best of all holidays rapidly approaching on the horizon; they are so close I can SMELL the apple pie and cornbread stuffing! Bring it, baby!

    I'm praying that your feelings of fertility are something like Mother's Intuition, ya know? Totally...

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  30. I don't even think my comments matter any more but I'll leave them anyway.

    I think feeling fertile should be your mantra for the rest of the decade. It just applies in so many ways.

    And also, don't die or anything, but I dug out a pair of my mom's old boots from the 80's and they are awesome. Stay tuned for pictures bc you know I like old shoes.

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  31. I think it's funny how your dogs are so completely different.

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  32. I agree w/ Lindsey - the complete oppositeness (word?) of your pups is even more adorable than the pups themselves. I just wanna snuggle 'em! Thanks for sharing the video!

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