I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing

I am feeling pretty amorous feelings about my life today to tell you the truth.

The way the clouds leaned in close to kiss the mountains, the way Maggie jumped with excitement when she saw me for our walk, and how she told me she'd been so excited to tell me about her weekend. Something about how the leaves swirled around our feet as we dodged kids on bikes, and how afterwards I ran the fastest and strongest run I've ever been able to run before, and how I even remembered to fold The Holbsy's laundry too.

I hummed Jingle Bells all the way through my grocery shopping. The tune gave me the just the pep I needed to maneuver the crowded aisles and not get upset when I was violently cart-boxed at the jam section. The WinCo is a scary place on a Tuesday afternoon! When I got back to the car I saw that miraculously I had completed my grocery rounds in under sixteen minutes, how is that even possible? It was a Christmas miracle.

A word on the WinCo. The WinCo is a CRAZY PLACE. It's like I go to WinCo and then so does the whole town, all at the same time, and it is people! carts! food! lines! screaming children! bulk wheat!

Now that I consider it truthfully, I do not really think it is possible that there are enough homes in the Moscow area to house all of the people who seem to magically appear inside of the WinCo when I walk through the doors. They are like extras in a movie, fake people with their fake carts full of fake food that you just know they're not going to eat. I like to imagine that as soon as I leave the store someone will call CUT and these people will just vaporize into thin air. 

Also I bought five kinds of mustards today.

The Holbs texted me today like so:

Were you trying to make a statement by buying ten different mustards?

But what kind of a statement could you possibly make with mustards?

The loving truth is that as I pushed my cart down the aisle while singing of Santa Claus and his impending sojourn to the southern parts of the globe I spotted all these mustards just sitting there being all cute and diverse and mustardly, and I just fell in love with them! I mean, I fell in love with mustards.

I had to buy them all because they were like a family. My family. My family of mustards.

And I find I just want to kiss things! Here, I will kiss Petey.

Oh! Here's another! I went to Kendall's house tonight but on the way there I went to the right house number on the wrong street first, only to find the creepiest house. In all of Moscow. The creepiest. I called her to tell her that her house was scary and she said in an offended tone No, my house is Charming. 

I also love the fact that we established that I could blog about that and she would not think I was a dork.

Oh, today! You cute thing!


  1. Wow, chiquita, but you are one prolific writer on these fall days! I am always so charmed by your voice--though we don't always share the exact same values (that marriage advice is so redonkulously 1970s-throwback-to-1950s-take-those-pants-back-off-and-get-that-apron-back-on that I almost cannot handle it!...and yet, you're right. Or not wrong. Or something like one or the other.), I feel our sisterhood, child--I do! And you remind me to be happy--even ticklishously thrilled!--in my 27 year marriage and 55 year life! In other words, you're a blessing, and undisguised one.

  2. Wow those dogs are so cute!! :)

  3. In college, my roomies and I had I tell you 7 big bottles of mustard in our fridge for four gals. How ever we had so much mustard is still a mystery to me, but 'tis the truth!

  4. there are not nearly enough posts about "families of mustard"...i say more mustard families....

    although, I think i might me more even spirited with a family of jams. Thick like thieves jam. Fruity...colorful jam. Yeah, that's more my style..however i have to tell you, i like the versatility of the mustard...sweet, tangy, tart...yellow, brown...spicy. quite versatile.

    Thanks for this post...imagining a store filled with movie was kinda eerie-steven-king-ish, but I needed this today.


  5. We now have TWO Wincos in Utah! And we actually drive 30 minutes to the closest one only to fight the crowds once a week. Is that really saving us money? I'm not sure... but my husband and I both grew up with Winco so I suppose it is really more for the whole nostalgic effect of it all. And how I DO love the bulk bins. And the shasta. And the insanely cheap produce. Blessed Winco...

  6. I love those magical days where the stars just align right and everything seems to go perfectly. Until you hit Winco. I consider Winco a work out....Load the basket, unload the basket, load the bags, load bags back into the basket, load bags in trunk, unload bags to house, empty bags and put good food away. Wow! I need a nap!

  7. We don't have a Winco in AZ! I miss my Moscow Winco and their aisle of bulk granola! And their bulk peanut m&ms.

  8. Buying a bunch of mustards on a whim sounds like something I would do... lol. ;)

  9. Ah Nat, the WinCo. You make me so Moscow sick sometimes.

  10. Ah the Moscow WinCo, where I go every week for my grocery shopping. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about when you describe it in your post. I feel the same way--why does everyone and their mom decide to go when I go? I even try different times of the day and different days of the week, and it doesn't seem to make a difference. Well, good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way!

  11. Oh, but the WinCo (pronounces Wink-o ever since my brother told me so a few years ago :) is so much better than the WalMart! What you said about the WinCo being miraculously full EVERY SINGLE TIME you enter is true for me too. How it happens is beyond me, so I'm going to go with your "extras in a movie" dealio. Seems valid enough and makes so much sense to me.

    As for your "in love with mustard" thang...well I feel sorta jipped and a little disappointed in myself for never noticing the cartoony German fellas in the lederhosen. I may take a trip to the store just to gaze at the mustards. Oh, but I can't eat a ham and Swiss sandwich without the mustard, and I don't even need anything fancy; French's will do the trick quite nicely. But honey mustard, what a treat THAT can be with chicken strips!

    Yeah, I like meat.

    I've been listening to Christmas music consistently since last Friday (except for the break I took when I went to see This Is It by myself, at which point I listened strictly to MJ for 2 hours). I've been buying Christmas music of my childhood on LegalSounds like a mad woman, I have. Also, my roommate had had some kind of horrible day on Monday (curious), and know what lifted her spirits? It was Mannheim Steamroller, that's what. Current song on iTunes: Bing Crosby and David Bowie singing Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth. Might be my favorite Christmas song this time around...

    I'm done. Over and out.

  12. (you hate the word 'swoon'? egads! tis one of my favorites... as are 'tis' and 'harumph'. and 'egads' :) happy wednesday, friend!)

  13. Ahw. today's was very good.

  14. The WinCo is crazy. We had it in Portland and I had to mentally prepare myself for that place.

  15. Love your blog! And the dogs are too cute.

  16. your blog is so fun!!! i am officially following. cause i pretty much think you are too cool for school.

  17. I think the only statement you could be making with the family of mustards is that mustard is a most versatile condiment, and you need The Holbsinator to help you in coming up with more mustard-friendly dinner options. *nod nod*


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