12.14.2009

This Post Brought To You By THREE Peanut Butter And Honey Sandwiches And Yes I Do Mean THREE


For your enjoyment, here is my Sunday in review.

Church was only one hour long today, on account of the "creche" that was going on all day in the cultural hall. Do you know what a creche is? Creche creche creche. If you are living in our house then you are finding as many excuses to say "creche" during the day as possible. "Creche" is French for "I Live In Idaho But I Am Still Cultured So Don't Call It A Nativity." Only but when you are living in Idaho it is important that you pronounce it "crush," otherwise nobody will believe that you really are living in Idaho, and wouldn't that be a shame.

This is the part of my blog post where I type about how there is lady in my ward who has three hundred nativities. THREE HUNDRED!  I can now die in peace having seen exactly what 300 nativities looks like in one living room, as Betsy the Flying Potato and I were tasked with bringing them from her home on Seventh to the church on Blaine on a Tuesday afternoon.

And anyway, one-hour church is an idea I can get behind. If you know what I mean.

After church Andy Carman stopped by to graciously lend his artistic eye to our 2009 Christmas Portrait. This was attempt number three at getting a decent picture for a Christmas card. You'd think that with just two of us in this majestic family that the chances of a good shot of both of us would be pretty good, but we have been foiled time and time again.

Sudden Subject Change!

During sleep-times I am like a sun with canine orbitals. At night in bed I am sandwiched by dogs and during the Sunday 3:00-5:00 nap hour if I so much as yawn while I sit next to the space heater I am suddenly sporting puppy saddlebags. There is something weird about these dogs and their need to be pillow-like.

This afternoon I snuggled up to Barnaby, we really spooned, I had him in a head-lock, and he lay there patiently like a stuffed teddy bear, like in actuality I was causing for all his little puppy dreams to come true. His head always smells like grape jelly. Peter Pan had the consolation prize that is the between-the-legs nest. When I woke up I literally could not move for puppy bodily interference. It was as if they needed me to stay there so they could sleep on top of me and thus fulfill the measure of their creation. But I had Peanut Butter and Honey Round One to attend to, and unfortunately they were very much out of luck. But like I said, when I sleep I am a dog magnet.

Tonight the student stake put on a rendition of selections of the Messiah. I am generally opposed to the married student wards on account of they have too many babies and that hurts my feelings, but I decided that Christmas cheer might be worth a it, so we got all dressed up. We braved the snowy roads. (Brandon braved them, driving like a maniac.) I surprised myself by crying all through it.

But which Christmas card photo should we send? Your options are:

(a)

involves bikinis + snow
circa 2008

(b)

involves a wise man + an angel
in a stable all forlorn

(c)

involves the snow + my house + the ghost of my sister-wife
also: poopy dogs

18 comments :

  1. I vote C on account of the poopy dogs. Dogs are lovely, but poopy dogs are festive. All Christmas cards should include poopy dogs!

    Andrea

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  2. I vote C, too, because ghosts just seem very "A Christmas Carol" to me, which was my absolute favorite Christmas story.

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  3. I third C! If it's your family photo Christmas card, Barnaby and Pete are part of your family too and you should include them!

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  4. poopy dogs! poopy dogs!!

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  5. Poopy dogs is cool, but I think bikinis and snow is cooler...in more ways than one!

    PS: I think Church should be shortened to one hour long for everyone.

    PPS: I am still confused as to what a Creche is.

    PPPS: 300 NATIVITIES?! Dang! I thought this lady with FOURTEEN Christmas trees was insane:

    http://www.pleasingtoyou.com/2009/12/joyeux-noel-from-chez-underwood.html

    300 Nativities takes the cake though.

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  6. For sure C. Who doesn't love a ghost wife? And poopy dogs? Really? You have to think about it? This is the first time I've read your fab blog, and I'm feeling empowered already.

    Three hundred nativities? Dang. I've been buying random nativity people that don't match (i.e. kneeling lamb is bigger than Joseph) and my daughter created a mob outside of the manger, so there are about 40 people rushing the stable. But it's time to stop before it becomes habit-forming. Thanks for the warning.

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  7. Yes, C, absolutely! Another fabbity-fab post...I am now decided that I simply MUST experience a Mormon church-service extravaganza for myself. I mean, what could possibly be cooler than nativity dress-up?

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  8. I vote C for reasons stated by my brethren (sistren?) above, AND because my own family history has a tale of a ghost sister/wife, and I'm always for those first wives whose widowed husbands went on to marry their sisters (and mine was a twin....can you only imagine!!! WEIRD!!!) getting their proper shout out. So yeah. C.

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  9. I think you should do a photo collage with all three. That way you don't have to decide and leave a picture out...

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  10. I vote C, too, for the poopies. Or the photo collage sounds cool, I must admit.

    By the way, you crack me up every time. You have this ingenious way to say so much about so little. It's great! :)

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  11. I voting for A. If I could rock a bikini as well as you did in that photo I would be plastering it EVERYWHERE! I'm totally jealous!

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  12. I saw The Messiah yesterday too! And while I didn't cry outright, I did get all teary during the 'For Unto Us a Child is Born" and (of course) the "Hallelujah Chorus." (I almost always cry when I listen to the "Hallelujah Chorus," even by myself in the car . . . )

    And bollocks to that one guy . . . I LOVE "In the Bleak Midwinter." It's ethereal.

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  13. C. Your puppies are beyond cute.

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  14. C. Gotta go poopy. Er, go with the poopies. ;D Holbs just needs to watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRobryliBLQ and maybe he will change his tune about Bleak Midwinter. Okay, so I confess, I don't decorate with Santas, only with nativities, but your neighbor beats all. Oh - and come pick a flower from my Spring in December! It only took three months to get them posted! Take one (or more) and let it remind you of green days to come!

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  15. Really I'm just proud of you for putting on a bra...

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  16. Hour-long church?! I can't even imagine! This past Sunday was: 1)church 2)branch council 3)RS board meeting 4)choir practice (the Christmas program is this next Sunday!) 5)a musical fireside. BUT...see'ns how I got home from the MoTab Christmas Concert (featuring Natalie Cole--who I could do without) all the way down in SLC at 2 in the AM, and church begins at 9:00...I was near-delirious during the block, if you catch my drift. So when my first counselor (bless her soul!) offered to go to branch counsel in my stead, I totally took her up on the offer! That's right, I had lunch and a nap before RS board meeting! And then...I skipped out on the fireside. I pretty much knew I'd be skipping at before I even heard about it, though, so no guilt whatsoever from this ginabean.

    Anyways...I vote for picture C; after all, "I love poopies." And I'm kinda giggling that your husband's arm hovers, don't you know? Kinda curious about that one...

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  17. I'm still just jealous of hour long church...I'd probably go more often if it was only for one hour! I like the collage idea and if I rocked a bikini as well as you people would get photos of me in bikinis all the time...for every. single. occasion. Period.

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