6.01.2011

RACCOON TERRORIZES CENTRAL PARK!


on monday evening the six of us decided to go on a family walk.

me (1), brandon (2), henry (3), petey (4), barney (5), and leila, the doggie we are doggie-sitting (6).

the thing about central park that i love is that i have no idea how to get around in there still.

we wandered along that one bridge that is in all the movies, and past that one fountain that is in all the movies, and then up through the woodlands. i love the woodlands. from the center of the woodlands you can forget you were ever in a city to begin with. it is dense in there, and completely s i l e n t.

on our way home we encountered the famous central park raccoon.

so i've seen this famous central park raccoon a couple of times. the first time he was climbing slowly up a tree as a handful of new yorkers huddled around taking pictures.

the other time he was ambling along a playground fence, following a little boy who was feeding him cantaloupe from a fork.

this time he was dawdling along the road, his little feet slap-slapping the pavement. barney was suddenly on high alert, while peter contemplated the shapes in the clouds. i wonder if that raccoon knew how famous he was?

and then i wondered, where is he going? what is his purpose in life? does he have many friends? what does he think of magnolia cupcakes? does he think they are overrated? does he even know he is in new york city? why is he awake during the day? do you think he is rabid?


do you think he his on his way to bloomingdale's to buy himself a hat that will be a mistake, as nearly all hats are?

shortly after i took these photos, that raccoon walked right up to a four-year-old boy and everyone in the area gasped! save the boy! but the raccoon just moseyed right on along. a few seconds later, the little boy's dad pulled me aside and said, "you saw that happen, was my kid okay? i wasn't paying any attention."

how do you like that!

23 comments :

  1. ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    you.crack.me.up! :)

    xo, em

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  2. too funny. and I love the you've got mail reference.

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  3. When I was a very small girl I walked up to a lady (who I now realize was somewhat bonkers) in the French Quarter and asked to see her baby. She pulled back the blanket she was carrying and it was a raccoon!!!! I said "oh!!! Does it bite?" as I reached my little fingers in and when she said "yes" I jerked them back so fast I almost dislocated my shoulder. Now, why would you show a little girl your blanket raccoon who bit? Why would you have a raccoon in a blanket to begin with? A why would you not be watching your child in Central Park? Good heavens, people.

    Good one, Nat!!!!

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  4. your posts never fail to make me laugh.

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  5. I have to admit that my favorite part of this entire post was the dogs. I love how you describe their personalities... Barney on high alert and Peter contemplating shapes in the clouds. Funny!

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  6. your constant references to you've got mail might be one of the primary reasons i read your blog. that, and you represent my old city so well. that, and my friend jess white told me you were good people, and i really like her a lot.

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  7. I have a blog. Sometime I wonder what the heck I'm going to blog about because really, I never leave my house. You will never have a problem with that being where you are. I would love to wander around central park just because I can. It would cost me a fortune to do that. It doesn't seem fair. How much would it cost to live right by central park in a place big enough for one mom, one dad and four children? Never mind..... it's no use.

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  8. Yay for the You've Got Mail reference!

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  9. I was attacked by a raccoon when I was little......I am still racked with torment.

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  10. do you think he his on his way to bloomingdale's to buy himself a hat that will be a mistake, as nearly all hats are?

    ^^ are you just doing this so that i'll type out the YGM screenplay in its entirety once again?

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  11. I love it! Sounds like my own thought-pattern when I stepped on a scorpion in my house!: http://hmocruz.blogspot.com/2010/10/poor-francis.html

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  12. I love this post. Thank you for your blog. It is a gift.

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  13. I love how Google put an ad on this page with picture of a very vicious looking 'possum :) "100% Free Trapping." Hilarious.

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  14. I was on hold with a medical company at work today for way longer than my attention span could bare, so I came to your blog. I read it, thought of a clever and witty comment, and posted it long before anybody ever picked up. But my blogger app on my droid2 was having a hissy fit, and the comment didn't post. Blarg. And because I have the memory of Dorie from Nemo, I have no idea what I said. Oh well.

    Loved the descriptions of the central park landmarks. I always ask people that visit me, "What's your favorite New York movie?" And I take them to those locations. Yours were: Bow Bridge, Bethesda Fountain, and the Ramble, btw.

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  15. That is amazing! Can't you just see the story he might've had to tell his wife? "Well, you see, I was texting on my iPhone, not paying attention, and a potentially rabid raccoon sort of licked our son. But, don't freak out, honey, ok?!"

    PS: Based on this (good gravy but there is something wrong with my husband's photography skills), I'm thinking your husband and my husband might be related.

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  16. what a charming post :)

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  17. Reading your blog makes me miss NY! Thanks for the reminders of summer (it's nowhere near the same here in San Francisco). By the bye, our sons are almost exactly the same age. Mine was born on 10/18/11. Hooray for October bebes!

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  18. I do not like racoons. They are big and have long nails (are they called nails) and it's as if any minute they could jump on you and gouge out your eyes. Doesn't that sound scary? Them and llamas with their deceivingly quick moving short legs not to mention their spitting. Racoons and llamas are no bueno. Glad you made it through unscathed. You are much braver than I am.

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  19. LOL this post is making the google ad (or whatever) at the top of your page say "GOT RACCOONS? We can help!"

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  20. So glad I started my day over here. We had a similar experience in Utah yesterday when my son was nibbled a little on the face by a duck at the lake. Well, I guess that's not quite the same. But seriously, animals these days have no concept of personal space!

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  21. AnonymousJune 02, 2011

    Adore your wit. You MUST write a book! What a great read!
    e.d.

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  22. I can just picture the hat he would buy at Bloomingdales. A coon skin cap. And then people would be confused: is that his head or his tail? And if they had little four year old boys, they wouldn't know which direction to go to get their child away because they wouldn't be able to figure out if the raccoon was coming towards them or walking away from them.

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  23. aren't all hats very nearly a mistake though? i've often wondered why no one else in the whole wide world seems to be with me on that...and finally someone is.

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