11.20.2011

C-SECTION VIA VAMPIRE TEETH ANYONE?


let's just get this out of the way: this movie is BONKERS.

i almost hate to admit this, but i see twilight movies on purpose. on friday night at the break of dawn (get it?) a bunch of my tall friends and i went to see the midnight showing of breaking dawn. seriously, all my friends are tall, it's weird.


right, so, the movie was awful. i really loved it. i am not one of those girls who has much of a reputation to uphold or who has anything in her life to be "too cool" for. so, basically, midnight showings of twilight movies that are terribly uncomfortable to sit through are right up my alley.

did you see it? are you still haunted by bella's knobby pregnant knees? me too.


have i told you about how brandon let me read all four of the twilight books to him out loud as bedtime stories? with voices?

32 comments :

  1. That was the most horrific delivery I have ever seen. And yeah, super violent movie!

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  2. One of the reasons I love having a tween daughter is so I can watch all of the Disney movies I want, haha. I am waiting to see Breaking Dawn because I promised my sister but I am sure I will love it :).

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  3. I couldn't brave the midnight showing so I went on my lonesome today. I liked it but the acting was pretty horrible at times. The c-section by fangs will most likely give me nightmares for years.

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  4. Loved it. My expectations are always low, and I always leave pleased! It works well. Plus, I drug my husband with me, and am even more in love with him for being the man in a sea of women!

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  5. With voices, really? THAT takes some SERIOUS talent!

    I haven't seen it yet. I'm already cringing and just can't make myself do it. I LOVED the books, but the first movie was just too laugh-able that it's really been harder to see the rest. I have seen them...just not this one...yet. I'll get there, but I have to stop gritting my teeth first, so I can at least as the guy at the booth for a ticket. Glad for your review.

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  6. I don't want to make you jealous or anything, but there was an actual wolf (!) at our screening of BD. I have hated all of the movies, but actually liked this one? Some funny-on-purpose parts? And some classic cringe-inducing lines. "It's a baby." (long awkward pause) "Possibly."

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  7. Perfect sentiment: "It was awful. I really loved it." I completely agree. And how much did you LOVE that heinous wolf altercation scene with the Mufasa-esque voiceovers?! So amazing. It was like a little gift from the mediocre movie gods.

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  8. @jordan alexandra, that part literally felt like what i imagine a psychotic episode to feel like. it was AMAAAZING you are right!

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  9. I cringed. I sent my husband to the bathroom during the embarrassing sex/not really part. I hid my face during the wolf growl/talk part. I adored the death scene. I loved it. It was indeed awful and I loved it. Sidenote: Kristin Stewart is a terrible actress.

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  10. Totally haunted by the knees! YES! I think I even dreamed about them. Opening weekend with girlfriends is the only way to go!!!

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  11. you are very brave. I only saw the first Twilight movie and I fell asleep during it. (to be fair, it wasn't in the theater- that might have kept my attention better.)

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  12. Read aloud for him? Gosh, he is spoiled!

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  13. I am just over six feet tall and all my friends are short. It's awkward. I have to bend over to hug them and looking at us from the back I look like a mother with a bunch of little girls.

    Now that's weird.

    LOVED Breaking Dawn with almost my whole heart. The pregnant blood drinking was bad to read about..to see it made me dry heave. So it lost points there.

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  14. haha the werewolf talking scene....SO BAD. and yes, the knobby knees and emaciated frame. ew, ew, ew.

    in other words, i loved it too.

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  15. I loved it too. I loved them all. They're so bad. It's fantastic! midnight is really the best way to go, for us even the line sitting part is fun. mostly because of the so bad for you snacks, twizzlers, reeses pieces, lots and lots of caffeine, pretzels..the list goes on.

    I'm going to have to watch again for the knees..because I was too focused on her shoulder bones.

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  16. I started laughing at the voice over wolf scene and got shooshed by 14 year olds. The birth was horrific. I bought book 4 the next day:)

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  17. I have a complicated relationship with Twilight. I love to hate it and hate to love it all at the same time.

    I saw it during the day on Friday, hoping it would be a commentary-free viewing while the tweens were still in school. No such luck. The Twilight Moms made audible comments of approval at Jacob's first shirt-free appearance on screen. I can't help but feel this reeks of pedophilia since he started these movies as a teenager. But then...Jacob and Renesmee. I guess he had it coming. :)

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  18. I'm seeing it next week. I know - I have to wait that long?! It's ridiculous and it's all my husband's fault. I'm still upset. But I can't wait!

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  19. Oh my gosh I love love loved the movie. I only cried once, which was an accomplishment. I was also transfixed on the knees. But those shoulder bones, UGH. Also, that birth scene was in-tense.

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  20. When she finally went into labor and her spine cracked? Oh my goodnesssssss that was horrific. And then they made a point to fix her spine when she's nearly a vampire and her chest puffed out and probably no one but me got that that's what was going on there...it kind of just looked like she had suddenly gotten boobs or something. Overall a fantastic movie.

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  21. I love that your husband let you read all four books to him as bedtime books. Mine made fun of them and refused to read them but then one day on a rather long drive he had me tell him the whole four book long story and he sat there on the edge of his seat and now is the one that plans a night out so we can go see the movies in the theater (we see about .5 movies in the actual theater a year. And their always either Harry Potter movies or Twilight...)

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  22. I absolutely loved it! My favorite of the Twilight movies so far! I mean...wolf talking is a little hokey-but it was SO great! I laughed and squealed in delight the whole time. Yeah...vampire c-section wasn't pretty...but no c-section is pretty. I loved it! Team Edward.

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  23. I love this series, can't wait to see part 1 of the final chapter!

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  24. I am so happy to see that other people appreciate the awfully awkward wonderfulness of these movies. Watching them with your best friends is a must. Who else will laugh/be embarrassed with you and have your back when you get dagger eyes from the tween in the row in front of you?

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  25. Midnight showing is a must...movie full of steamy love scenes, a jealous werewolf, near death experiences while giving birth to a vampire-human- what's not to love?

    It's all so very awkward yet so very awesome at the same time...

    Your post made me laugh out loud to myself!

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  26. Ha ha! Now I love you even more. I'm by no means a Twi-hard or anything but my husband and I both liked the books and have gone to see all the movies. I was impressed they made Bella look so emaciated, I was kind of expecting this like, glamorous hollywood star with make up on and a fake belly being all, "oowww, it broke my rib!" so that was cool.

    I cringed mightily during the wedding nightmare with the super lame pile of bloody bodies but pretty much liked everything else.

    Hubs does say they stole the eye ending from Avatar but I didn't see that so I don't care.

    Team Eddie!

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  27. Hello? How have we not discussed what I now know is our mutual love for High School Musical?

    (Team Jacob.)

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  28. You know, I totally agree with your review. Dreadful film, but I LOVED every second.

    Also, I am obsessed with the Cristina Perri song 'A thousand years' from the film, except it makes me think about our newly two year old son and how I have loved him for a thousand years and will love him for a thousand more. I sob EVERY time I hear it and think about it. And it struck me that the one person who may understand and agree with me is you! Is that odd??

    And OH team Jacob. Such a healthier type of relationship.

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    1. I'm so obsessed with that song...still.

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  29. so at times i feel like if knew each other in real life we would be friends but i would never say that to you because that would be creepy. anyway. i saw this post before i went and saw the movie and i was so happy the words "this movie is BONKERS" kept going through my head the entire time because it explained my feelings about it perfectly.

    and how could anyone be team jacob? team edward, even if he is pasty and gross, forever.

    and i too pray for another hsm to come out! i feel like i will never stop being 13 and i feel fine about it.

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  30. oh my gosh. this post is straight from my soul. i love and hate and love and hate the twi-movies! they are so bad but so good and i have no shame. and i aaaalso went to the midnight viewing and i would give my left arm for a new high school musical movie to come out. i saw hsm 4 in the theater and cried when they graduated and still... no shame. hallelujah!

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  31. Now that's what you call a great husband! lol. I love Twilight too! Don't worry! Liking Twilight doesn't make you less cool anyway, it makes Twilight more cool! :)

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